Monthly Archives: December 2009

Peace out 2009…don’t bring your a$$ around here no more….

Good riddance 2009!  Don’t let the door hit you in the behind on the way out…..btw, thanks for the kick in the jimmy on the way out!


Five thoughts on a Friday, The Merry Christmas Edition

It’s Christmas! It’s Friday! It’s time for FIVE, GOLDEN RINGS! Five Thoughts on a Friday!

  1. Get ready folks, because it’s already started and this year will be a double whammy. As we lead up to New Year’s Day prepare to be inundated with end of the year and end of the DECADE lists and shows. Best of This Best of That, Who died, who didn’t. This was great, this was crap, etc.
  2. Ah, Christmas Day. Day two of a multi day blur of eating, visiting, eating, traveling, eating, and.. did I mention eating? Oh, I think there may be some presents under the tree too, some of them are probably even food!
  3. I have met my quota for the year. All the important, must see Christmas Specials have been seen this year. For me they include Merry Christmas Charlie Brown, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Christmas Vacation, and A Christmas Story.
  4. Favorite line from Pirates of the Caribbean.. “But why is the rum gone?” I’ll tell you why. Because a plane overshot the runway while landing in Jamaica and broke in two. If something like that happened to me while I was flying to Jamaica, I’d drink all the damned rum I could get my hands on!
  5. Just for the record, I *didn’t* shoot my eye out with that BB gun when I was a kid. So there.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Shopping. Done and Done!

Call it folks. As of 7:32pm last night, Beer had his Christmas shopping done. Now comes the bad part, finishing up the wrapping.

A few notes as I recap this holiday shopping season:

I was pleasantly surprised that I really didn’t run into angry/cranky shopper person that much. Oh sure, there was the one lady demanding boxes and such at one store with only the statement “I bought a bunch of..”. No receipt, not buying anything right then. But honestly miss cashier, she really did buy it! You should just giver her all of the boxes even though she couldn’t be bothered to even bring a receipt back to the store, even though it’s against store rules. I mean, why do what you’ve been told?

What I did spot of a lot of were the idiots stupid people damned fools “Situationally unaware”. I like to refer to these folks as the ones who don’t realize there’s an actual world going on around them. You know them, they’re the ones who stop right in the middle of the aisle suddenly, blocking all traffic. Out in the parking lot they meander around looking for their car completely oblivious to the fact they’re almost being run over by cars. And to the nice lady talking on her phone in her Jeep. Yes, I’m sure you complained to whomever it was you were talking to about me and the car in front of me (The one you were nose to nose with that wouldn’t/couldn’t move aside). I’ll let you in on a little secret though. The reason we wouldn’t/couldn’t get out of your way? You were trying to go the WRONG WAY down a ONE WAY isle. Sorry you missed the sign right next to your window. And the big painted yellow arrows. It’s ok, you gave me something to write about.

The rest were the typical stressed out, in shock type of shoppers. Especially last night. I don’t always get that. Yes, I waited till late in the game to shop, but I wasn’t worried. I know what I’m getting (or at least have a decent idea), and I go get it. In many cases it takes me longer to navigate the parking lot and get parked than it takes me to get into the store, buy the gift, and leave. These folks though, they walk around with looks of shock and horror on their faces like Christmas just came out of nowhere and they aren’t sure what to do. So for them offer a small hint. “Odds are good that Christmas will be back next December folks! Just so it doesn’t sneak up on you next year.” There we go. You’re welcome folks, no need to thank me. I know it can be tricky, having to pin down the date to December 25th every year.

Ok, I’m going to go consider alternative wrapping techniques now.

Merry Christmas from the The Beerbarrel everyone!
-Beer and The King

(Christmas Wrapping – Get it?)

From the obscure reaches of Beermaker’s brain….

Yes, I’ve totally gone off the rails this week. Must be all that eggnog.

We saw one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies again recently. I like them, they’re pretty entertaining and funny. Still, there’s always been something about Captain Jack Sparrow. Something that made me think the idea and the appearance of the guy wasn’t quite new or originally. I always had the feeling I’d seen him somewhere before.

Now, I’d been to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride so I always kind of figured that was probably it. Some sort of old connection to that somehow.  I mean, here’s dear ol’ Jack… not exactly a common look:

And yet way off in the dark corners of my brain it just kept kicking around. The idea I’d seen something like that somewhere before. Then the obscure happened.

So I checked at first. No, the rum wasn’t gone so I wasn’t seeing things. There really was a predecessor to Captain Jack Sparrow.  At least in terms of dress. Now call me crazy if you want, it wouldn’t be the first time or the worst thing I’ve been called. So, am I going to say it? You betcha.

Ladies and Gentleman, please meet Captain Jack Sparrow’s fashion inspiration…

Mr. Adam Ant

Well, what do you think?
If nothing else, it gives me a chance to use an early days of MTV type of video.

Until next time, Later folks!

Five thoughts on a Friday… The ??? edition

It’s Friday! The last work Friday of the year. And here we are again with another edition of Five Thoughts, so let’s get started!

  1. It’s the last Friday before Christmas, and no my shopping isn’t done. So what? It’ll be finished soon. The real issue is the mental checking out that happens. I can see the signs all over the office. People’s minds are on where they have to go, who’s coming over, what they still need to do or make, anything but the job at hand. Any employer or manager that doesn’t admit or acknowledge that it happens is a fool. It’s just human nature.
  2. Speaking of checking out and just “going through the motions”… To the traffic reporter guy on the morning news. Yeah, you. The one who said “Today is the start of the lighter holiday traffic volumes” right before I walked out the door. Did you even look at your traffic cameras or talk to someone who had? There were MORE cars on the road for the drive in than there have been all week! You just read the pre-written blurb off of the paper,  didn’t you?
  3. Calder Dairy’s Eggnog. That’s the stuff. So thick you can barely get the dark rum or bourbon to mix in. It just wants to float on the top. Pricey, but VERY worth it. And hey, it’s the holidays. Splurge a little!
  4. From the “This type of number boggles the mind” department… According to the Army Corps of Engineers, Lake Michigan is 10 inches higher this week than it was at this time last year. That doesn’t sound like much, until you think about HOW MUCH WATER it would take to raise a lake that size even a fraction of an inch. How big is lake Michigan? It runs the ENTIRE western coast of Michigan’s lower peninsula. That folks, is a VERY large lake. Think “ocean” big.
  5. Back to the holiday splurging for a second. It’s the holidays. You have to splurge, and that means there’s probably going to be at least a little bit of weight gaining. Just go with it. I mean, don’t go nuts but enjoy yourself. I mean, aren’t those cookies and other assorted goodies worth it?

Ok, that’s the last Five Things before Christmas. Merry Christmas folks!

Getting into that Christmas spirit

It’s almost time. It’s almost time for old St. Nick to shimmy on down the chimney on Christmas eve. (And hey, Santa? While you’re at it, could you clean it out a bit in there? It’ll save me on calling the chimney guy in the spring. Thanks!)

That being said, the Christmas spirit is in the air. The Christmas specials are on television (Merry Christmas Charlie Brown never gets old, and neither does Christmas Vacation), and the songs have been on the radio for a while now. And let’s face it, a lot of them are garbage.

There, it’s been said. Call us Scrooges or Grinches if you want, but you know it’s true. Garbage.

(And if I’m going to be a Scrooge, I’m picking this guy!)

But that’s neither here nor there. We’re here to talk Christmas songs. The GOOD ones. The ones that set get the Beerbarrel crew into the Christmas Spirit.

Here’s a few of our favorites!  (ed – Oh look, another LIST! Beer must be going first.)

Santa and His Old Lady – Cheech and Chong

Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses

Christmas Don’t be Late – Alvin and the Chipmunks

These aren’t meant to be put out there as the “Best” Christmas songs, just the ones that seem to really sort of bring home the fact that it’s Christmas time. The classics are great too, although every time I hear Jingle Bells right now I can’t help but think of the Jeff Dunham/Achmed the Dead Terrorist version. Heck, any of the Burl Ives songs off of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer fit the bill for us here at The Beerbarrel.

I’d talk more about it but I need to get the Christmas shopping finished, so I’ll turn it over to the King to get his thoughts.

While I agree with all my co-blogger’s music, I just need to add a few more:

Nothing, I mean nothing gets me into the holiday spirit like Gene Autry’s songs.  Here comes Santa Claus was my first Christmas song and still makes me smile.  I remember listening to that album pop and hiss as my sister and I put up ornaments.

Also from Gene Autry is the true version of Rudolph is a huge hit at my home.  I’ve must have heard this song over 100 times and it still makes me smile when I hear my kids sing it.

The other song is Sting’s version of I Saw Three Ships.  This is my wife’s favorite Christmas song and it always makes me remember how much I love this time of year.


And there we have it. We’ve got one more song for you though. It’s one of the classics, and as far as I’m concerned it’s “The” definitive version of the song.

Sing it Dean!

Enjoy those Christmas songs folks!

Five thoughts on a Friday – the back in the saddle edition

It’s Friday again already! You know, one nice thing about doing these posts is that they tend to make Friday show up awfully quick. That’s not really a bad thing, now is it? So without further adieu… let’s get back into the saddle after a week off (for me at least – my partner had to work).

(You knew from the title that song was going to show up somewhere, right?)

And here’s today’s five:

  1. A Michigan couple was recently charged in an extortion attempt against John Stamos.  Seriously? No offense, Mr. Stamos but that’s the best they could do? No Brad Pitt? No George Clooney? C’mon folks, if you’re going to try to extort someone, go big! Think Bill Gates / Warren Buffet. Now those guys have some cash! Just sayin’, you know?
  2. As I was working this post up, and thinking of some other ideas for posts I noticed – Almost every post I do usually involves some sort of list. It must have something to do with how my brain works (or fails to work) since I deal with list nearly constantly. Part lists, Reconciliation lists, To Do lists, shopping lists, $h*t lists.. Hey look, I just made a list of lists!
  3. According to most traffic laws, a pedestrian in a cross walk always has the right of way. According to the laws of physics, that 4000 pound (or more!) hunk of machinery doing 45mph still has the right of way. If it was you, which law do you think you would obey? Hmmm?
  4. Been catching as many of the old Christmas specials as possible. They’re just fun for some reason. So far some of the notables are Rudolph, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Charlie Brown, and of course Christmas Vacation. Watching some of these has made me realize how little I miss network television in general though.
  5. Writer’s block on #5. Can you believe it? I had almost everything else set to go, and then this. Damned morning drive was too uneventful, that’s why. Not a single thing came to me on the drive in. A commute spanning 2 interstates is almost always good for at least ONE entry! Then again… I don’t really remember the drive in this morning. Looks like I was on autopilot again. That’s it, off to make more coffee then. Apparently a full pot of coffee at home just wasn’t enough.

Ok, that’s 5 things and I really *am* off to make more coffee. Have a great weekend folks!

It’s a Marshmallow world in the winter

As some local radio stations have started to play holiday music, I’ve found they play basically the same 12 songs over and over again.  I love the holidays and I love Christmas music but I love more than 12 songs so every year I try to expand my collection.  My recent addition has been the Christmas with the Rat Pack album.  I have to say it ‘s a great addition to my Elvis, Brian Setzer and Harry Connick Jr. collection.  As I listen to the tunes of this album I realize that these guys really are the definition of cool.  I dare you to listen to it and not want to kick back by the fireplace while sipping on something “cold” to warm you up.  Which brings me to the question I brought up to my fellow co-blogger, what happened to all the true entertainers and why did these guys seem to enjoy life so much.  His answer, which I agree with, is best summed up in the following picture………….

And in closing…

And we’re back… For the 12 days of Christmas.

Thanks to my partner in crime for filling in admirably (even if it was a bit late in the evening) last Friday. I loved his description of me being unavailable. Does this look unavailable?

That’s right, Margaritaville. Total tourist trap, but still fun. Skip the nachos though.

So what’s with this 12 days of Christmas crap you ask? Simple. 12 working days (ok, ok more like 11 and 3/4 or so as I write this) to go until Christmas Eve. Shopping is not an option for me on Christmas Eve, so anything that needs to get done need to get done in the next 12 working days.  You have been warned folks! Time is running out.

So, to get you in the mood I figured I’d break out a Christmas classic in honor of the 12 days left till Christmas.

What? You were expecting Santa Claus is Coming to Town? That was on last night, you should have watched it yourself!

That’s it for now folks!

Five on a Friday…the King style!

So I think my fellow co-blogger is unavailable again to do his Five for Friday.  I think he does this just to get me to get off my dupa and start writing again.  Well, here goes…..

  1. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a holiday nut.  I’ll watch any movie that has a Christmas theme tied to it no matter how bad it is.  Well, I think I’ve finally found a movie that will end that streak for me…Deck the Halls.  People, is there any other piece of junk movie out there worse than that one…Bah Hum Bug!
  2. Along those same lines, is there any more awesome movie with a Christmas theme than the original Die Hard!  “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…”
  3. Where’s the snow dammit!  Haven’t you heard what I’m dreaming of…..White Christmas!
  4. Hey Buddy!  Here’s an idea…finish making your turn before you decide to open your car door and pour out your coffee!  That way you won’t go bouncing up on the curb almost hitting a telephone pole and have an intersection of people staring at you!
  5. I’ve always said I’m a simple man with simple thoughts and here’s one.  If we’re using all this stimulus money and extending unemployment benefits,  why don’t we just offer full tax refunds for businesses to hire new employees?  It would be a tax refund for hiring, hell let’s just say two people, and you need to keep them on staff for two years.  So my simple plan would be refunding the business owners the full cost of two employees for the first year.  That way we get people employed and hopefully start feeling comfortable knowing they have a job for awhile.  I’m sure it can be shredded a hundred ways, but hey, I’m trying to thing think outside the box!

Okay, I’m done…hopefully I haven’t scared away any of our two normal readers.  My partner in crime will be back next week…until then, keep crashing the net!