The Beerbarrel’s Rules for Working in the Office

Howdy folks. It’s Wednesday. Let’s have a little fun, shall we?

This post is brought to you by…. well, you’ll probably be able to able to name people *you* work with that do some of these.

The Beerbarrel’s rules for working effectively in an office environment:

  • Make more coffee. Seriously. No one cares about your about your pay grade. Make the coffee. Don’t leave the last little bit there to burn. Even worse are the people who rinse the pot out, set it aside, and empty the filter basket. You did all that, but couldn’t put the new filter pack in and hit “Brew”?  Come on already.
  • If you are going to work out before work, or during lunch… take a shower when you’re done. Why do we even need to put this here? Please? Don’t be the stinky person.
  • Clipping your fingernails at your desk so everyone can hear the “snip, snip” is not acceptable. End of discussion.
  • Attendance is mandatory. Listen, we all get sick and miss some time. Sometimes we even want you to stay away, instead of giving everyone else the plague. But when you go the first 2 months of the year without putting in a full week? You aren’t “gaming” the system. You aren’t “really having a bad stretch”. You’re pissing your coworkers off. We will NOT cover for you when you need it if you keep pulling this crap.
  • If it needs to be a private conversation, take it somewhere private. Hearing people talking at a desk in whispers only invites more scrutiny. In other words, the more you whisper, the more people will try to listen.
  • Guys, seriously. What the heck is with the boogers smeared on the wall in front of the urinal? No nose picking, no farmer sneezing when you’re standing there. This is a workplace, not junior high. It was nasty then, too. Knock it off already! I’m not even going to discuss the floaters. Grow up already.
  • No one cares how much you like it, or how tasty it really is. That tuna, liver, and cabbage casserole is never *ever* to be cooked in the break room microwave. At all. It makes the whole place smell like a haz-mat site!
  • Ladies? Perfume is fine. Enough perfume that people can smell it half an office away is too much. Okay?

And there we have it. No, these rules have nothing to do with you actually doing your job. Think of these as guidelines for survival, if you will. Because even if you’re the best at what you do, if you do the stuff listed above people will hate you.

Since we almost all have to work, and none of us *really* want to be here why don’t we try to have a little fun with it and make it more pleasant on each other. What do you say?  Nah, didn’t think so.

Back to Work!
-Beer

Advertisements

3 responses to “The Beerbarrel’s Rules for Working in the Office

  1. is that person back to bad attendance? shame, shame.

    • No, no. Not directed at anyone presently. Think of it more as a collection of comments I’ve gathered over time 🙂

  2. the nail clipping is what did me in. i cannot handle it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s