Monthly Archives: February 2011

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “I forgot the title” Edition

Good morning folks, and we’re again again with yet another edition of Five Thoughts. After we channeled spring fever last week, Old Man Winter decided to check in and make it perfectly clear that he’s not quite done with us just yet. We got a bunch of snow Sunday/Monday and even some more through the week, including this morning.  Well, Mr. Winter? I’ve STILL got spring fever! So stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Does that make me a bit loony? Probably. That’s how I come up with these thoughts, after all!

  1. There’s actually very little loony about this one. If you’re into automobiles at all, this story from earlier in the week should strike you as pretty cool. It’s about the storage of the automobile collection of the Detroit Historical Museum. Make sure to check out the embedded video in the article, too.
  2. From the I have no idea where to file this one department….  “Say what?” “Please stop helping?” Neither seem appropriate or strong enough. What am I talking about? Well, a coach was asked about a player at the NFL scouting combine. And in an apparent attempt to compliment them (and no doubt trying to help raise their draft status) he came up with this quote
    “I mean, I slapped him on the ass out there one day and I’ve got a quarter horse in Tennessee that doesn’t have an ass on him like that. He’s just a physically gifted guy and a smart guy, and just a good, good person.”
    So, who should be more offended? The player? The quarter horse? I’ll just say this to the coach… Dude…. STOP HELPING!
  3. The space shuttle Discovery took of yesterday on it’s final flight. And the final flight of the entire shuttle program. Now, say what you want about it’s economics or if it’s worthwhile or anything like that. Just consider this one point though. The space shuttle program, despite it’s two major disasters, has made sending people into outer space seem routine. When in truth it’s anything but. Even today. There are still holding out on our flying cars and ray guns though. Do they think none of us remember The Jetsons?
  4. Listen. There’s dropping the ball, and then there’s “I put bacon on the menu on a flight from Israel to London” dropping the ball. I mean, I know most people love bacon, but sometimes you just gotta think. On the other hand, thanks for doing this and giving us another opportunity to talk about bacon. Now I’m hungry.
  5. We’re going to swing into social networking territory a little bit here. People seem to love to use these “cute” little quotes and such for things like their Facebook status and such. If all you do is copy and paste quotes of dead or famous people? You aren’t original, you aren’t witty. Your’e capable of copy and paste. You don’t get a cookie. Sorry. And the next time you see someone with one of those “Because of you I laugh a lot more” type quites? Maybe you should wonder… Is it because I make them happy? Or do you make someone laugh a lot more because they’re laughing at you? Hmm?

Ok, that’s five and it’s time to roll into another weekend. I admit I was sorely tempted to talk hockey today, but the trade deadline isn’t here yet, and there are still a few trades to make. After all, I don’t think the Senators have traded for every draft pick in the league just yet.

And to get you all thinking of warmer times and tropical drinks….

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The Spring Fever Edition

Howdy folks! It’s Friday, so that means it’s time to welcome you all to another edition of Five Thoughts. We’re having a hard time focusing on anything but the sunshine outside the window right now, so let’s see what type of wacky stuff we can come up with today!

  1. Proving that nothing we say here get’s taken seriously… We called it silly last week, but a group in Detroit now has the funding it needs for a Robocop statue for the city. No word yet on where it will go. Hey, at least is some PR for the city. Hmm, we call something silly and it gets funded. You know what else is silly? The Beermaker needs another fancy vacation fund. Yeah. That’s definitely silly. Feel free to fund away!
  2. Anytime you remake or modernize something, there are going to be critics. Don’t believe me? Fine. Why don’t you ask Optimus Prime from the Michael Bay movies. New York City gave him a parking ticket!! This makes me think of two things… The Pace picante sauce commercials where they yell “NEW YORK CITY!” and the late, great Rodney Dangerfield’s classic line. “No respect!
  3. Other than mocking, we try to steer clear of political topics here at the Beerbarrel. That being said, let’s mock away. Hey, South Carolina? You planning on trying to do this a little bit at a time this time around instead of all at once? Either way, here’s some free advice. Leave out the firing on Fort Sumter this time folks!
  4. How. How is this even possible? “Doctors Remove Knife From Man’s Head After 4 Years“. And when I ask how, I don’t mean how did they doctors do it. I mean “How do you get a knife blade in your head and not realize it’s there for FOUR YEARS??????”
  5. Some days life in the office just makes it hard to get these posts done in time. Especially when warmer weather has links like the Autoblog article about Motor Trend running 3 sub $100,000 supercars against each other going around in emails. Somehow, that drive in the 4-door (which is actually a really nice car!) just seems incredibly boring now.

Well, we’re in a silly mode today. Suffering from spring fever as we mentioned. So here you go!

Now, get out there and have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Out there” edition

Howdy folks! And welcome back to another edition of Five thoughts on a Friday. I gotta admit, I’m feeling some pressure this week. Not only did I appreciate my co-blogger filling in (quite nicely, I might add) for me last week, but when I checked on it I find he slipped a small compliment in towards the end. Saying I write interesting stuff. Great. Now I have to try to be interesting.

Still, we try to have fun here and make people giggle and laugh, or maybe think just a tiny bit. I still try to make sure there will be no math involved, though. So, let’s get started!

  1. Let’s start with this one. It’s from the news, but I’m not sure if it’s “green” news, news of the weird, or just news of the “WTF?” variety…  A local authority in England has given the go ahead for a swimming pool to use energy created by the next-door crematorium to heat its water. Yes. You read that correctly. As they’re cremating bodies, they’re also heating your pool. Why do I suddenly want to go watch Soylent Green again?
  2. I ran this one buy a couple of folks here at Beerbarrel productions (ok, that would actually just be me and the voices in my head…) and we all agreed, if any of us had been involved in this the headline would have read “MAN WALKS ON WATER!! While screaming like a little girl”. What really happened though, was a photographer was talking pictures (while in the water) of the Marlin they had caught, tagged, and were releasing. Or, as the Mako shark that came along would call it.. Lunch. (The photos alone are worth the click)
  3. Guitar Hero is dead. As this article supposes, it’s from over-saturation of the market among other reasons. What? 841,293 different versions of the same game were too much?
  4. There is a group in Detroit that wants to put up a statue of Robocop downtown ala Rocky’s statue in Philadelphia. Surprisingly, Detroit’s Mayor doesn’t see it as a wise use of taxpayer funds so the group is now looking to raise the funds on their own. I like Robocop, but I think it’s a silly idea. For one thing, while the movie is set in Detroit it was actually filmed in Dallas. To the extent that Reunion Tower is visible in some scenes (look under errors at IMDB). As for me, if we’re going to do a movie character statue… Can we get Axel Foley instead?
    (You know – This guy! Preferably in the Lions Varsity Jacket)
  5. I know I harp on it a lot during the winter, but today is Feb 11th. The reason I mention this is that on Feb 13, Pitchers and Catchers Report. The beginnings of baseball season. So I figured I’d go with some baseball news that shows baseball really has no real connection with reality. Yesterday, Pitcher Jared Weaver lost his arbitration case with the Los Angeles Angels. As a result, he’ll only get a raise from $4.2M to $7.3M. Wouldn’t you love a job where you lose and ONLY get a $3M raise?

Ok, that’s five thoughts for today and I’m going to head out. It’s snowing here once again, but just knowing that we’re closing in on spring makes it not seem quite as bad. Or maybe it was all the beer last weekend while we were away. Hard to tell. Either way, while we were on the trip I heard one of my all time favorite “out there songs” and decided I was going to use it today, so.. here it is!

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Uh oh… Beermaker’s talking to his brain again….

Howdy folks, and here we are on a Tuesday..

“Uh Beer? Did you get lost? You feeling ok?”

Doing fine. What, I can’t post on Tuesday?

“Well, it’s just that statistically speaking, you NEVER do.”

Then it’s time to change that. Do you mind if I go ahead and get started? I’d like to talk a bit about the Packers/Steelers game a bit. You know, the one with the trademarked name that was played in Dallas?

“Um.. You’re a day late you know. You should have done that yesterday. You know, the day after the game?”

Yes. I know. I was busy, and I wanted to take a day to see what everyone else would say. See how my impressions held up to public opinion.

“Uh oh… This can’t be good”

Do you mind? Can I start now?

“Well, technically I’m YOUR mind, but go ahead..”

See what I put up with folks? Anyhow, let’s do a little big game review and recap. See, I was more interested in the commercials and the halftime show. Don’t get me wrong, there were two teams I liked playing, and other than too many drops on both sides I thought it was a pretty good game.

The commercials? Mostly uninspired. Too many old, recycled ideas.Just having different people do basically the same spots year after year? Boring. Still, there were a few bright spots. Especially if you enjoy physical humor, or like automotive ads (Although there were a few misses mixed in with all the car ads, too. Can’t win them all).

The halftime show? Well, I know some people who loved it, but I have to agree with the majority of stuff I’ve seen that panned it. It was bad. It was just not good. Not only was it musically disappointing, but from a “show” standpoint I thought it also fell short. And here’s the thing, a while back a friend and I were going over who some of the next acts for the halftime show would be. I had actually mentioned the Black Eyed Peas. So it stung just a tiny bit on a personal level, too. How did I come to think they’d play a halftime show? These were some of the things we thought of:

  • Have to sing live. The NFL has shunned lip-syncing, limiting the acts.
  • There generally haven’t been a lot of repeat acts, so if they’ve played before take them off the list.
  • Have to be safe (Think wardrobe malfunction prevention). So having someone like the Red Hot Chili Peppers come out wearing tube socks would probably not be what the NFL would want.
  • Have to be pretty well known. That hot new band? Probably not a contender.

So there’s the criteria we went by. Felt pretty good about actually forecasting it too. Until I heard it. But here’s one thing to remember though folks, whether you want to complain about this year’s show, last year’s, or so on…   Sounding good and putting on a good show at halftime is challenging. This isn’t a concert where the stage is set up, all the sound system gets dialed in, and then the show starts. This is run in, set up, play, tear it all apart and go back to football. It’s tough.

As for upcoming acts? Well, I think the Black Eyed Peas were an attempt to get a little more hip  and younger compared to Sir Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Bruce Springsteen, and Prince. I think that will probably continue next year too. Although I don’t really know where they might go right now, I’ll have to think about that. I do think that when they roll into the Meadowlands in 2014 that we may see a repeat. In the greater NY area I think they’ll really want a show and I can think of three local names that I’d call front-runners right now. Bruce Springsteen (From NJ, but a repeat), Bon Jovi (From NJ, has played season openers before but not halftime), or how about this one… He’s a New York guy. And he hasn’t ever played halftime. Could they already be considering someone like a Jay-Z for the halftime show?

Time will tell. And hopefully the ads will be better in the coming years, too. And let’s be honest. Some years are always better than others. Just like the actual games.
(Want to see all the ads from this year? Find them here.)

Later folks!
-Beer

Five thoughts on a Friday…5-2 Monster Defense edition

Good evening…..errrr, good morning there everyone. Well, we in the Midwest have made it through a week that included Deathstorm 2011. It was going to be a tough one. I wasn’t sure if at certain times I would regret not going to the store and getting loaves of bread and bottled water. Phew…we made it though. Also, this week my former linemate has left me in charge….so, let’s get on with it.

1. Apparently there is a resort being planned that would only staff Blonde personnel. It’s being built by a company called Olialia which specializes in woman of the fair hair variety. Must fight temptation for a blonde joke….must fight it…..oh the heck with it….Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calulator? She couldn’t find the 10 key.

2. One of my favorite things when I first got into the Simpsons was the tribute to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s action films with McBain. I had no idea that the Simpson writers actually had a full film in mind with all their miniepisodes. Someone put them all together and they actually resemble a full movie.

3. I will not lie, I don’t have any witty comment to make here. All I know is that if I find out this is from some project that J.J. Abrams is working on……I’m going to be ticked! Otherwise, this is pretty dang cool.

4. Just in time for the Superbowl, I stumbled on this cool little tidbit. Kraft Foods stores a ton of their cheese in a subterranean fridge. I believe this is the future bombshelter I will be looking for after the aliens come to the planet.

5. Finally, I have to eat crow. I have been on my soapbox preaching on this blog about how there is no new original material coming out of Hollywood. Folks, I stand corrected. I can’t even explain the bizarre idea of this film, but I can honestly say….noone has done this one before!

And that’s a wrap. I’m sure you’re thinking, man, Beer never post this many videos on his Five. He actually writes interesting stuff. Well, this is what happens when someone leaves the ex-AV Club member in control.