Monthly Archives: June 2011

Five Thoughts on a Friday…Jimmy addition

Well Folks, I’m alone at the farm this weekend.   “Someone” is busy and asked if I could actually do some work in this partnership.  So, let’s get started….

1.So what is the latest medical advancement or miracle that our trained doctors are currently working to produce?  A cure for cancer?  Male pattern baldness?  Nah, they are trying to find out if Kim Kardashian’s butt is natural or not……seriously…if this doesn’t rank up there with the top WTH, I don’t know what would.
2So if I were to ask Red from “That 70s Show” what he thought of Chris Hansen, the married father of 2, getting busted recently on hidden camera having a rendezvous with a younger woman his thoughts…would he say the following:

3.Everyone here knows that Beer and I are both huge hockey fans.  There is little moments during the season and off-season that are like holidays.  Friday, is the start of one of those holidays…free agency!  I don’t know about you, but I’m sitting down in my chair with a tall one and watching  Versus all day….oh sorry, I almost said that with a straight face.  If you really want to know what’s happening in the world of hockey, you need to check TSN.CA for the true hockey news.
4. I’ve got a lot of Apple fanboy friends who just love to worship at the foot of the fruit.  Well friends, here is one of the great accessories for your beloved.  Just in time for summer!
5.I’m going to end this 5 with a tribute to a man who recently made it into the hockey hall of fame.  I remember him when the Wings use to battle Chicago through the years. When I heard he was getting inducted into the hall of fame, this was the first thing I thought of…..

Well everyone, have a great holiday weekend.  Make sure you stay as true as an American as you can by eating as much red meat and ground up pork products as you can handle.

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Magnificant Seven” Edition

Howdy folks, and welcome to another Friday post. I had hopes/plans to get something else posted during the week, but life and a nasty strain of the plague hit me. Enough about me though, let’s get to making fun of stuff.

  1. Wondering about the title? No, in this case it’s no reference to the movie (Which is worth watching by the way). It’s in regard to some lunacy that my co-blogger and I have been subjected to. Now, it’s no secret that we don’t hold terrestrial radio (That would be AM/FM) in very high regard. However, even lower on the pole are some of the people who call into sports talk radio shows. Like the ones this past week. The people who called in saying that a defenseman in the NHL hadn’t “given the team a deal at all” on his contract. That he “wasn’t worth that much”. These are the same people who said two years ago that he “should retire” because “wasn’t what he used to be”. Yeah, he isn’t what he used to be. He used to be a six time Norris trophy winner as the best defenseman in the NHL. He isn’t that anymore. He’s now the SEVEN TIME (in 19 years!) Norris Trophy winner. Congratulations to Nick Lidstrom, one of the all time greats to play the game. And as for that contract amount nonsense? Go here. Look at the list of names and salaries. Now, tell me the defending Norris trophy winner isn’t a deal at $6.2 Million.
  2. Sticking with sports, well.. I’ll let my IM to my co-blogger stand on its own here:
    This is actually kind of sad… I know they’re much smaller rosters, but the way this fantasy draft gets into guys that were considered “just above average” in the top 100 say a lot about basketball not really having a lot of real stars….  (ok, it’s actually 120 players)
  3. I heard about the big celebratory dinner that the Dallas Mavericks had after winning, and now the sotry about the Boston Bruins has come up. My co-blogger caught this one and sent it along. It’s no surprise that when pro athletes (who are generally pretty darned well off) finally win it all, they party big. The story regarding the Bruins goes beyond big though. Why? Because someone got ahold of the receipt, that’s why. And it is EPIC. It’s posted at Fan 590 out ofToronto. Among the highlights? $180 worth of Red Bull. The lowlights? “Okay.. Who ordered an Amstel Light?!?!?”
  4. Sometimes, you get a freebie when posting about crazy stuff. This is one of those times. When the headline itself reads “Colo. police nab man accused of hiding in toilet” what more do you need to say? Of course, then you read it and see “Yoga Festival” and the line “A festival security officer says he chased a man who eventually emerged, but the suspect slipped away. The man was covered in human waste.” Yeah. I’m done here.
  5. Lastly, a story about the IT guy who got fired and retaliated by inserting porn pictures into a powerpoint presentation the CEO was giving. What’s that? You’ve heard this story a hundred times before? Well, yes and no. You’ve heard the part I just covered, sure. However, did you hear the part about the police searching the house for evidence in the hacking found home-made handgun silencers and materials to make more? Yeah, I didn’t either. Dude’s now up on federal felony charges for that. Yikes. I guess the moral of the story – don’t build your silencers at home if your hacking computer systems in a manner that will likely result in the police visiting your home. Or just, you know. DON’T make the silencers. That would work out well, too.

Ok, that’s five! Even if it was a little long winded today. We’re heading on out and we’re going to build on the movie theme again this week. No hidden quote this time though. This post shares part of it’s name with a movie. A movie opening this weekend has a character who shares a surname with a a guy in “The Magnificent Seven”. And it ain’t Yul Brynner. Who is it? It’s the guy she’s singing about.

Have a great weekend folks! next week you get a post from Kingkielbasa! Suppose I should let him know, huh?
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “More Than Five” Edition

Here we are on another Friday folks, and what a week it’s been. As a result, we’re going to suspend the traditional “Five Thoughts” format today. Why? Let’s get started and we’ll find out.

  • We have new champions in 2 major sports! Congratulations to both the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA and the Boston Bruins in the NHL!
  • That means the dog days of summer are here, sports wise. You’re pretty much looking at baseball for your weeknight sporting fix until fall. Not horrible, but not a lot of variety.
  • A great series in the NHL for sure, hard to beat a game 7. But for everyone out there who wants to refer to the finals this year as “Epic”? Ah, no. Go back and look at the average margin of victory in the Boston wins. Epic if you were pulling for Bruins, maybe. Too many blowouts to be an “epic” series, though.
  • What’s the feel on the NBA finals? Here at the office it seems to be “Very Good” including a game with a fantastic comeback by the Mavericks. Accurate read, or do I need to get out more?
  • We have LeBron James hate. I get it, people aren’t really fond of him. I thought the whole “Decision” thing was self serving and over the top myself. And some of the jokes have been funny, some over the top, and some awful. All of them got old really fast though.
  • Classy, paying for the parade in Dallas, mark Cuban. Times are tough all over and frankly, you can afford it. Still a classy move. Now the talk of getting players something *other* than championship rings? Please tell me that’s a practical joke.
  • We have riots in Vancouver. Idiots. All of them (The rioters, that is). They did it in 1994, too. Please tell me those aren’t your true colors as sports fans. Your team lost in disappointing fashion, yes. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t mean a hill of beans. You really need to think long and hard about that goalie situation you have though. Because his reputation is destroyed, his confidence may be too, and his un-tradeable contract runs damned near forever. Have fun with that.
  • We have more Weinergate. I’m not going to get into politics here, but seriously, dude. You Brett Farve’d a bunch of women, so let me explain. No, there is no time, let me sum up…  “Guys… NOBODY, especially women you don’t even know, want to be sent pictures of your junk!” There. Clear enough? Even though Weiner did “Brett Farve” a bunch of women, he did do something very un-Farve like. He retired. Ba-dump-bump! Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.  (Okay, I admit it. I put that one in there just to set up that joke.)
  • We have this story about the US Mothball fleet. Just because I think it’s cool. (Note – I do not think sneaking into places secured by the government is cool. it’s a good way to end up in a bad place. I do think the photos and the history behind them are awesome though)

Okay folks, that’s more than five. So I’m good to go, especially since I managed to sneak in another movie reference in there somewhere.  And as for all those guys who just wrapped up the playoffs? Please. GO SHAVE! I understand the history of the playoff beard as well as anyone, but let’s be honest. By this point, those things are getting pretty nasty.

So, for all those players that need to shave… here’s something to shave by!

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Technical Difficulties” edition

Ok, finally able to get this cranked out. Apologies folks, but it’s going to be a bit more brief than originally intended due to lost time. So to make up some of that lost time, let’s get going shall we? The weekend awaits!

  1. I know we’re usually kind of weird as it is around here but the other day while walking outside I saw something that made me wonder “Just how in the world did THAT, get HERE?”. We’re talking about a used coffee filter, sitting on a curb in a parking lot. About 200 yards from the closest office building (and probably 225 from the closest coffee maker). It’s not like someone missed the trash on that one.
  2. Let’s jump to sports for a moment. Something we seem to have opined on quite a bit lately. Sometimes you hear the term “East coast bias” when discussing sports items. Want an example? Take this fun article on Famous names/bloodlines drafted in the recent baseball draft. His #7 pick is the son of a player who “everyday shortstop for the Mets from 1984 to 1987, including their 1986 World Series championship. He also played for the Yankees in 1988”. You know who only made honorable mention? Colin Kaline, grandson of Hall of Famer Al Kaline. A lifetime Tiger. A little east coast/New York bias there? Now, want to see me blow that out of the water? The writer, Steve Henson, is from California. Maybe not so biased, huh? I actually just thought the article was cool so I invented a reason to talk about it.
  3. Just how cold *is* the water up there anyways? An “extremely rare” blue lobster has been pulled from the ocean up near Prince Edward Island. This follows one being found up there in 2009 as well. Either they aren’t as rare as we’re being told or it’s really freaking cold in the water. And I’m voting cold.
  4. Have you ever noticed that quite often, if given the chance the people you see out in public acting like complete and utter ignorant, self absorbed, you-know-whats will turn around and remove any doubt? Just like the lady using her phone in a theater in Texas who was shown the door. You really have to listen to the video. So really, Miss? You “didn’t know”? Article says you were warned twice. Was it after the SECOND warning that you STILL didn’t know? And really.. “magnited”? I swear, it’s almost too stupid to believe.
  5. Phoning in the last one… don’t care. It’s a fun, yet easy one. Summer is here folks! (Well, aside from today, where early spring seems to have made a reappearance after tropical heat)
    Why not get out there and have some fun? And what can be more fun than cow chip throws? Or fungus? Duct tape or garlic maybe? What the hell am I talking about? Things that all have their very own festivals! Go, check them out. Someone has to. And it isn’t gonna be me. I have other vacation plans this year.

Ok, that’s five! Apologies again for the delay. We’ll try to get back on schedule for next week. In the meantime, it’s time to get ready for the weekend. And I have a hockey game to watch tonight. In the meantime, let’s pump it up with some Elvis Costello.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The Doughnut Day Edition

Friday Again! Amazing how fast it gets here when your week starts on a Wednesday. Yep, you read the right. Shortly after posting last weeks Five Thoughts Beermaker hit the road for some R&R. I also got chastised for using Traffic’s “Dear Mr. Fantasy”, although coming from someone who also sent me a link to the snazzy napper I’m thinking I don’t have much to worry about. So with all that said, let’s see what’s kicking around in Beermaker’s brain today…

  1. I have to lead with this. It’s a moral imperative (Bonus points if you can pick out the movie that’s from). Today is National Doughnut Day! And did we get doughnuts here at the office? Of course not. Damned diets. If I were you, I’d check out the local Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme.
    And what’s National Doughnut Day without Homer Simpson?
  2. We aren’t huge basketball followers here at Beerbarrel Productions. Especially not the pro game. I’ve actually considered looking for someone to help with that. That aside, I’m going to miss Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq tweeted out his retirement the other day. As I told my co-blogger, there aren’t very many guys like him left in sports. No, I don’t mean 7 foot whatever and 300 pounds. I’m talking about guys who “get it”. Guys who seem to understand that it’s a game, they’re truly fortunate, and are enjoying the ride for all it’s worth. You can just see it in their eyes (even if they are as intense as can be during the game) and hear it in their voice. They’re having fun. We need more of those types in pro sports, not less.
  3. 2 weeks on, and a lot of people are still talking about the rapture that wasn’t. And they’re asking a lot of questions about the money that was spent on it. I just wonder, after looking at the guy who predicted it again that maybe they aren’t asking the right person. I just want to know, if Jeff Dunham playing a prank on all of us? When I look at the two side by side, I see it now…  (Yes, I photo shopped it together)
  4. In the news this morning, a small beacon of light, of hope. In the face of once again rising oil prices comes the news that one of the banes of humanity may be facing its end. No, we aren’t talking another terrorist or dictator or anything like that. We’re talking about that damned impermeable, hermetically sealed, often sharper than the razor blades it sometimes holds plastic “clamshell” packaging! Turns out the high oil prices are making it too expensive. Finally! A silver lining to high oil prices!
  5. Earlier this week our picks for the Stanley Cup finals went up. I think the post name says it all. “The Greatest Trophy“. It really is, no other trophy in sports can match it. Not just because of its age. or the names being etched on it. That’s part of it for sure, but just the history of that trophy. The stories that go along with it. Ones like this article, “The 10 oddest places the Stanley Cup has ever visited“. No other trophy comes close.

Ok, that’s five for this week and I’m off to see if ANYONE around here brought in some donuts.

And while I know it isn’t really fitting for the season, but what the heck… This one is fun, and timely…

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer