Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Eastbound and Down” Edition

Howdy folks! Yeah, I know.. you can already hear those first few notes…  Don’t worry though. I promise, I’m not going to be doing anything involving a black Trans-Am (For the record it’s a 370Z Roadster), an eighteen wheeler (okay..well… maybe), and we are definitely NOT going to either Texarkana or Atlanta. Yes, you are correct though. All this talk means it’s time for another one of Beer’s Boondoggles! So, before Buford T. Justice finds me, let’s get started!

  1. All this talk about fast cars and everything.. How do you even get ready for that. Well, by having your commute make this list. America’s Five Fastest Roads. And frankly, if they think that 81MPH is the avg speed of the top 5% with a top speed of 83MPH is an accurate reading I have some advice for them. Come back when there isn’t snow on the ground. That’s a SLOW day, folks. And yes, there IS traffic. It’s not an empty road.
  2. I have to use this one. I mean, how can you not be drawn to a headline like “Drunk Moose in a Tree“. Never saw Bullwinkle do that! Did anyone see Boris and Natasha circling the neighborhood?
  3. It’s a robbery, dammit! Well, that’s what he should have said. Invoking the great skit from Eddie Murphy on SNL. “I’m Gumby Dammit!” Sure beats dressing up as Gumby and then trying to rob a 7-11 store.
    Sadly, I can’t embed the video (linked it above) because I could only find it on Hulu. Still, go watch. It’s worth it.
  4. I have no real opinion either way on life beyond earth, but I do know this. If there is life out there, and they come here – they won’t be impressed. Why do I say this? Because NASA has recently released photos showing that we’re such slobs we even litter on the moon! Let’s face it. We’re going to be that intergalactic slob cousin that never gets invited to any family functions. Ah well, Springer re-runs are on anyways..
  5. One more travel note.. well, maybe an oddity. Billie Joe Armstrong, lead signer of Green Day (a band I like very much, btw) was recently removed from a Southwest Airline flight because… His pants sagged too low. Now, I’m no fan of the “Let’s show off our boxers look”, but it does seem a bit trivial to kick someone off a plane for that. Frankly, I’d rather tolerate that look that the “I should have stopped wearing spandex 150 pounds ago” look any day. Still, I have to wonder… Why is the lead singer of a rock band flying Southwest Airlines? C’mon man, party like a rock star! Fly first class. I’ve seen “The Wedding Singer“.

Ok folks. That’s five and I’m out of here! Eastbound and Down!

Have a great Weekend!
-Beer

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