Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Out in the Woods” Edition

Howdy folks, and welcome to the latest in our ongoing mockery of the writing skills we were supposed to have learned while we were in school.  Hopefully this post finds you all safe and sound, it being the day after deer season officially opened here at home (True, bow season has been open for a bit – but the big one is always firearm season). Anyhow, PB may be out in the woods today, but I’m here, so let’s see what we can come up with. Before we start though… we secretly recorded PB heading out to the woods on his last hunting trip

  1. Let’s start right out in the “You’re not real bright, are you?” department. Most people would agree, the best way to resolve differences in a negotiation is to keep working to find middle ground. So naturally, the NHL is talking about taking a 2 week break from labor negations to end their lockout. I swear, you couldn’t make this stuff up if you were writing a comedy! Talk about a joke of a league. And oddly enough, I’m not missing them. In fact, at this point I hope they stay locked out. These types of stories are FAR more entertaining than the actual games.
  2. One of my partners in crime like to post a “Retro Commercial of the Wee” on twitter every now and then. Well, here’s one for the week in honor of the dearly departed “Twinkie the Kid“. Yes, it’s true – Hostess is going out of business, and with them go the Twinkies.  (Didn’t someone tell them that two states just legalized pot? All they needed to do was hang on a little bit longer! I kid! I kid!) Seriously, though – guess they’ll have to keep finding new things to deep fry at the Texas State Fair!
  3. For the next one, we’ll move into the “I have no words” type of find. I mean, there’s drunk, there’s really drunk, and then there’s “I was so damned smashed I didn’t think having a dead skunk in the car with me was abnormal drunk!” I’m just surprised it wasn’t in Florida.
  4. Changing gears completely, we need to touch on a serious issue. I’m talking about the War on Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, you know what I’m referring to. Those Christmas decorations that have been in the store since before Halloween. The Christmas music on the radio already. And even the fight on the second front that Turkey day is now losing. Yes, I’m referring to Black Friday Creep. It’s no longer enough to open your doors at midnight or 4 am on Black Friday – Oh no, now there are sales on Thursday morning! Well, one group is trying to fight back. And they have my support. I won’t be shopping at all on Thursday or Friday! (As long as buying drinks at the bar doesn’t count!)
  5. Lastly, there’s a certain irony to this one. Here’s the lead line from the article: “A European official says her staff members were hacked when they joined her for a conference on Internet security in Azerbaijan.” That’s right. They were at a conference about Internet security, when their computers were hacked. Maybe they need to go to a couple more conferences, you think?

Okay folks, that’s an oddball five for this week and I’m out of here. No, I’m not heading for the woods. But in honor of all those who are, just remember… we all know what really goes on at there!

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

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