Welcome to another “I’m off to a boondoggle while you guys go to work” edition of Five Thoughts on a Friday. I’m the Original PB and I’ll will be your host for today’s post. You may think by the end of this post I have some ADD working but I assure you I have taken nothing but a really strong cup of coffee and wow what a way to start an early day. But any way let’s see what we have to tickle the old neurons today shall we…..
- Imagine you are a fisherman and you are reeling in your catch and she that squid you think will bring a pretty penny once you get it to market. Once back at the dock the buyer weighs it and begins to process it and says that doesn’t look right and you find something rusty in its stomach. That’s when the pucker factor kicks in and you see it’s a live bomb. May be the squid was auditioning for a Saturday morning cartoon or something but to eat a bomb? Yikes!!
- So you are attending a funeral and you’re in the processional. Sad day for the loss of a friend. Driving along and you get a call on your cell phone and someone tells you your house is on fire. You flip out and tell the chauffer to go this way NOW and you happen upon your house on fire and the fire department working to put it out. After the smoke clears the investigator comes to you an admitted animal lover and says a squirrel started the fire by crewing through your power lines. Do you blame the guy for starting an all-out war on the furry little bastards?
- When I was a kid my dad said if you ever have no choice and get into a fight you better either be able to take care of business or be a faster runner than the other person. Sometimes you may not be either so you have to get the upper hand somehow. Well if you have someone that you are going to stab you better take and launch their prosthetic leg far away from them so they can’t chase you. This lady was smart because everyone saw that guy from South Africa run in the Olympics and he was pretty fast.
- So you doing some Spring cleaning and you see a snake under some brush. Depending on the area of the USA you live this can be a problem. There are several ways to handle this like leave the snake alone, call someone to move it for you, or take a shovel and smash it. I highly recommend not throwing gas on the snake and setting it on fire! You may cause damage to other things like your house! I can just hear the other snakes singing as their buddy who you just set ablaze evoke the ultimate revenge.
- Finally from the files of crime does not pay we get this little dozy. Please oh please people if you are going to try and shop lift (I highly recommend not shoplifting) please do the public a favor and put some clothing on. It makes it a little easier to hide the beefsteaks and won’t gross out the rest of us. So what is your defense when you get caught stealing? Well I hope you were entertained by these crazy ramblings of ours. Beer will be back next week but perhaps Kingkielbasa will be able to lock in some Five Thoughts time again soon. So enjoy Easter this weekend and don’t be Elmer Fudd this weekend….
Have a great weekend!