Monthly Archives: May 2013

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “I can focus on stuff…..SQUIRRLE!” Edition

Hello folks it’s your friendly neighborhood Original PB taking the reins on this Friday’s edition. No Beer is not on boondoggle but I said “Hey I have this one since it was a short week”. That being said the title speaks to how the focus on this week’s post is, well you get the picture. SO let’s see what we have in the hoper today shall we?

  1. This is from the files of “It sounded like a good idea at the time”. First driving drunk is never a good idea. Second having sex while drunk driving is even more of a not good idea. Finally after crashing and trying to hide from the cops with you shorts on inside out and your naked girlfriend lying on the ground is not a good way to try and cover your tracks. Oh and BTW hiding behind a cactus is not a good idea as well.
  2. This gives new meaning to an old saying “I have a bone to pick with you!” This is why you never get drunk and go to rodeo then force your girl to leave before she is ready. Men if she was really mad and on the way home says drop them, take that as a sign to say you know I will let you sleep this one off dear.
  3. What Five Thoughts would not be complete without at least beaver story right? Well don’t mess with Ole’ Bucky the Beaver from Belarus. Why anyone would have a thought about taking a picture with a wild animal that was almost extinct then got pissed off and made a comeback is beyond me. The razor sharp teeth would be the first reason I would say “Hell no I am not holding that thing!”   I mean really have you not seen the videos?
  4. Straight from the files of that sounds like fun files comes this beauty of a game. This started about 1,000 years ago and is still played to this day. Leave it to the English to find a way to beat each other up by trying to score on a goal, one side of the town against the other and the goals are about 2 miles apart. Shrovetide is like football, soccer, rugby, boxing, and MMA all mixed into one. The only rule is “No Murder”!
  5. Finally we have the worse criminal in my recent memory. Can you say DOH!!  One, if you get out of prison you should not steal two bikes, two if you don’t know where you are don’t do one just ask for directions, and finally three if you are drunk don’t use your underwear as a mask to hold up a bank where people know who you are.  I mean really I hate to copy my buddy Beer but Red says it best

Well everyone that wraps up this edition of Five Thoughts for this week. Hope you enjoy the weather this weekend. Let’s hope old Mother Nature cooperates and no more twisters  Have a good one and for those traveling by car this weekend please remember some of us can drive faster than 55 in the left lane! – PB

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Re-done, non-cooperating post” Edition

Howdy folks! Yep, Beer’s back! That means I survived (and didn’t FREEZE) on my fishing trip in northern Michigan last week. Lots to cover, but I’m going to let someone’s issue with my vacation schedule (I wasn’t sure, was that praise, or him taking a shot at me?) slide. So… let’s see where today leads…..

  1. I’m gonna lead right off with one from the “You’re not real bright, are you?” department. It is not cool to hit someone on a bicycle with your car. It is even more not cool (and also illegal!) to hit someone on a bicycle with your car, and then keep driving. That is called a hit and run. You are freaking stupid when you do what I just mentioned, and then brag about it on twitter. And yes, even though you delete your account, the police will find you. Have fun in jail. What do we have as a going away present, Red?
  2. Let’s hop over to the “Who didn’t see this one coming?” department. Let’s face it, it the USA there’s no shortage of hated government agencies/departments. But near the top of anyone’s list is one true constant. The Internal Revenue Service. Yep, the “tax man” so to speak. So, when this latest IRS controversy came to light it’s no surprise people are losing their jobs (I’ll leave it to others to decide if it’s rightfully so or not). My favorite was this one though…  An IRS official using the line “I have not done anything wrong” and then, she refused to answer lawmakers’ questions, invoking her constitutional right against self-incrimination.  Now I understand not wanting to incriminate yourself (Who really walks around trying to?) but to insist you did “nothing wrong” and then take the fifth? Kinda not really plausible. Not to mention, that might work in a court of law, but not in the court of public opinion. And yeah, when you work in the public sector, that’s important. Because, as the article notes… “A day after she refused to answer questions at a congressional hearing, Lois Lerner was placed on administrative leave, according to congressional sources.” Yeah, when you work for an organization that has a perpetual PR problem, you really don’t want to have to invoke your 5th amendment rights in response to question about the job you’ve been doing. It won’t end well. Did you not see that coming?
  3. One of the hallmarks of Memorial Day weekend is the annual race known as the “Indy 500”. So it’s no surprise that an article about the race should come up right before the weekend. And it shouldn’t be any surprise to find out I thought it was kind of cool. It’s about how they originally settled on the distance of 500 miles. Kind of a fun read looking back at what the cars used to be.
  4. The world, despite it getting “smaller” thanks to the various connection mediums available to people these days, is still a big place. The galaxy is an even bigger place. As such, there are many various definitions of what is awesome. Why do I say this? Because this Lego replica of an X-Wing fighter from a galaxy far, far away is indeed, awesome.
  5. And close out, almost fittingly since many people will be camping, grilling, getting together with friends and family this weekend comes an article about beer. Beer theft, actually. And a subsequent apology and repayment. I think it’s a cool, fun story to close out with. I just wish the article had a picture of the backyard bar setup! It sounds cool!

Okay folks, that’s five and I’m out to enjoy the holiday weekend – even as busy as it’s shaping up to be. I do have one small request if you’re in the states like me though (okay, a couple – but they’re small, I promise!). While this may be the unofficial start of BBQ/Grilling/Camping/Fishing/summer, if you’re in the states please do take a moment to remember the men and women that have or are serving the country and are the real reason for the holiday. And second, if you’re driving – stay safe on those roads, they’re always packed this time of year. Okay, that’s it. And for anyone stuck in holiday traffic on the Highway this weekend, this is for you!

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts -“How to negotiate for a new job” version

I’ve come to the conclusion that the next time I’m applying for a new job, I’m bringing Beer with me.  Most people want to get the expense account, the company car..not me, I want to get Beer’s vacation schedule.  That being said, I’m on my own as Beer is gone again.

1. Oh yeah, I’m running the show.  Everyone knows what that means…VIDEOS!!!  I’m starting the list off with one of the movies that really brings me back to my youth.  Ultraman, Johnny Socko and his Giant Robot…

2. So I have to admit, that even this has me dumbfounded. How do you drunk drive a bridge? I mean, reaction time doesn’t have to be the greatest. Am I missing something here or isn’t it as simple as if boat is present, keep bridge up…if boat is gone, lower bridge?

3.One of my littlest has started a great comment on things he comes across in life now.  His line is, “Now, they’re just making stuff up!”  That line came to my head the moment I read this article by some of the people we trust in our lives. MMMmmm..hungry?

4. Geek alert…There is always a question that the geeks ask, why aren’t there any real superheroes in our real world?  I’m not talking about ones with super powers, obviously even nerds understand a little reality…but Batman and Iron Man are based on normal guys.  Well, it looks as though the income from the movie franchise alone wouldn’t be enough!

5. Speaking of Iron Man 3, if you have been living in a hole and haven’t seen what it’s about..here is a little different trailer to entice you to go see it.

Well, that’s it folks. Have a great weekend and enjoy it.  We all know that Beer already has started to enjoy his!

2013 2nd Round NHL Playoffs

What is the world coming to!!!  Maybe we should stop having guest picking series. Here is the outcome of the first round predictions:

  • PB- 4 correct
  • King- 4 correct
  • Cigars and Scotch -what the world…..6 correct???

I think something is wrong here, but to quote CigarsandScotch…”75% right in the first round!  Nailed the Western Conference and split the East.  Suck on that!!!”

So here we go with round 2:

(1) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (7) Ottawa Senators

PB – One of two 1 vs 7 matchups this playoff season. Guess what? I still hate Cindy Crosby  and think the team was more complete without him in the lineup. The Pens have a situation brewing if the Fleury meltdown is a sign of things to come. Vokoun is just good this could be a sweep but if he has a Fleury moment the Sens could take the series. Ottawa has something in the water up there as they have played well without their stars. Problem is…….well they are playing the Pens. I see this one as a tight series and sure will be entertaining for sure. Pens in 7 but I still hate Cindy!!!

King- So, I’m pretty impressed with the way the Sens handled Montreal.  I have to admit I didn’t see this one coming (obviously as you can see from my pick).  The bigger question is which goalie will show up for the Pens.  The one that stops pucks or the one that is ready for the gol season to start.  I’m also starting to believe in the power of the mustache.  I’m going against the grain here and I’m going Sens in 6

CigarsandScotch-The Battle of the Shortened Names, or the “Syd the Kid Media Extravaganza,” ends with a severe arse whoopin’ on the Sens.  They are impeached and sent packing. Penguins in 5.

(4) Boston Bruins vs. (6) New York Rangers

PB – Momentum is on the side of the team that won their game 7. UUummm well that would be both teams. The momentum is on the side of the team that finally found their scoring touch…..that would be both teams again. Damnit. Oh well both teams fought hard to make this round but I see one glaring problem in this series, Boston is almost bipolar. They are one team one night and another team the next. They have been really inconsistent and their pick up of Jagr well really has not paid off…..yet. Nash is good but he has never played this deep into the playoffs before and Boston has. Potential loss of Boychuk could be huge. Coin flip has Boston in 6

King – Living across the water from Windsor, which is no way near Toronto, I could still hear the gasp from the fans in Toronto about their team losing a game 7 in O/T after leading 4-1 in the 3rd period.  Yikes.  That being said, I’m not too sure I’m in love with the team the Bruins have become in the playoffs.  I’m no Rangers fan, but man, give credit where credit is due.  I didn’t think they had it in them to play good hockey and win the series against Washington. That being said, I’m going against my own heart and picking the Rangers in 7

CigarsandScotch- Old time hockey, coach!  Now we are talkin’.  None of this mamby pamby California-latte-drinking hockey.  This is what we call playoff hockey.  (Wings and Hawks, too!)  WE have big playoff beards and crushed cans of Hamms in the corner of the locker room.  Sticking with the original projection and taking the Bruins in 6.  (How can you not after they come back from 3 goals down!)

Western Conference Semifinals

(1) Chicago Blackhawks vs. (7) Detroit Red Wings

PB – One team is down right scary good this whole season. The Blackhawks have talent on all lines and they all contribute, two solid goaltenders, solid defense, and a coach that has won a Cup. That said the Wings have shown me something that I knew they had but they saved it for the playoffs and that is heart. Their best players needed to be at their best and they were. Howard is underrated in my opinion by those in the NHL so this is when he can make a name for himself and totally steal a series. I see this one of two ways it can go the way of the regular season and the Hawks sweep or they can go a tough 7 games. Split the difference and say the Hawks in 6.

King – Living in the Detroit market, I have to chuckle when the local fans were calling for Mrazek to be the starting goalie over Jimmy Howard.  I mean come on, Jimmy has played fantastic this playoff round and almost won it by himself.  He’s going to need to be that good or better for the Wings to make it through this round.  Although all games this season except for the Easter massacre was decided by overtime or shootout, I pick the Blackhawks in 7

CigarsandScotch-Ok, here is what is going to happen: Quenneville threatens his team by stating that he will “shave the stache'” with Stan Makita’s ’61 skates.”  The team rallies behind this threat.  The Wings respond with threats of limo rides down Woodward with Mr. Illitch at the wheel.  Hawks in 6.

(5) Los Angeles Kings vs. (6) San Jose Sharks

PB – Did the Sharks play in the first round? I didn’t even notice. They didn’t even break a sweat against the Canucks. I think they brought Jamie Baker out of retirement to score on the Canucks. The Kings proved they are still a tough hard nosed team that can grind out another cup if they keep this up. I don’t see a fun time for the Sharks in this battle of California. Just waiting for Joe Thornton to go all Joe Thornton and have one hell of a series…..NOT!! The Kings are solid and I see changes coming to the Sharks this off season. The Kings channel their inner purple sweaters and take this one and the Sharks don’t even know what hit them. Kings in 5

CigarsandScotch-The Battle of Cali! This is absurd.  California teams battling it out in the Stanley Cup playoffs.  Cats and Dogs sleeping together!  Mass Hysteria!  Sharks upend the defending champs in 6.

King- Seriously, did anyone think the Sharks were going to handle the Canucks the way they did?  I mean, I knew that that series was going to be a snoozer, but come on…  The Kings on the other hand remembered what it took to be winners and showed the Blues.  I’m hoping Quick learned his lesson about puck handling and plays like he did at the end of the series.  Kings in 6

There you have it folks.  I’m personally hoping I do a better job this round.  Also, it’s only fair since he had a great 1st round I leave you with another quote from Cigars and Scotch…

“Listen to Cigars and Scotch podcast or I’ll be bringing those Quenneville clippings over to your house for Sunday brunch!”

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Where to Start?” Edition

Wow, what a week in the world of the weird, wild, and wacky we’ve just had. Happy Friday everyone. We’ve had a lot of things to choose from this week, so in typical Beerbarrel fashion we’re going to throw together some random stories that will hopefully at least think about cracking a smile. Let’s get started on it, shall we?

  1. The problem with having such a wide variety of stories to pick from this week, is figuring out where to start. How about in the Savannah, GA area? That’s where researches have finally found the location of a missing colonial area fort. Now, I realize it wasn’t all that large, and it was way back in the day, and there was – you know – a war going on at the time… But how exactly does one go about losing the location of a fort??? “It was JUST HERE! I swear, this is where we left it!” Still, thought it was cool, so I figured I would pass it along.
  2. It seems that even as a former commander-in-chief, there are a few things that are still out of President Clinton’s reach. Including being able to talk Led Zepplin into reuniting. Maybe he just didn’t use the correct approach. Maybe he should have said he was “On a mission from God“? Worked for these guys…
  3. If you spend anytime reading back through this blog, you’ll see that we’ve mentioned a run of bad events on cruise ships. All of them applying to Carnival cruise lines. You know, running aground in Italy, engine fires and overflowing toilets at sea, breaking lose at the dock, failed inspections, and now… two people going overboard offshore of Australia. I don’t know about you, but I think you’d have a hard time convincing me to even set foot on one of their boats right now. They keep trying to come back though. And every time I read another one of these stories, all I can think of is Mickey’s advice to Rocky in the original movie. “Down, stay down!” In otherwords, waive the white flag already folks. Change your name, something, anything!
  4. I always like to be able to include something about cars in these posts. I always like to include something from the “You’re not real bright, are you?” department in these posts. Every now and then, those two meet up to provide an ideal entry to use in this space. I think the title says it all… Watch A Corvette-Driving Idiot Fail At Donuts Then Commit Hit-And-Run.
  5. Lastly, this comes to us under the “It’s been done” heading. Big headline – “Man uses spoon to break out of Russian maximum-security prison“.  The article goes on to link to another article, and describes how “using only a spoon” to dig a hole through the cell’s ceiling and escape. The authors seem very impressed by that. Apparently they don’t remember the movie “Escape From Alcatraz“.  As I mentioned… It’s been done.

Okay folks, that’s five and I’m out of here. Time to go get the boat tuned up and ready to go fishing. That’s right, Beer’s out again next week. A fishing boondoggle is on tap. Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure to leave to blog in good hands. Heck, the guys will probably need to do another round of picks here soon anyways. In the meantime, since we closed with a Clint Eastwood reference, let’s go with that today!

Have a great weekend!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Day Before Brew Day” Edition

Good morning everyone, and happy day before National Homebrew Day. And Happy Kentucky Oaks Day (aka Day before Derby Day). And of course, Happy Friday. Wow, that may be some sort of record for links in an intro. Now, onto more pressing/silly/stupid/amusing things….

  1. When I read this story, I couldn’t decide what was more disturbing…  That a Connecticut man “lost his life savings on a carnival game“, Or that said man’s life savings amounted to – wait for it…. $2600.  But, apparently that’s what he lost playing ‘ball toss’. Have no fear though, in true American fashion he’s suing the carnival operator claiming ‘the game was rigged’. Are we sure this didn’t really happen in Florida? Regardless, I think this guy needs a visit from our good friend Red.
  2. See? I knew it! We’re all doomed! Apparently a team at Oxford has determined that the human race is its own greatest threat to its own existence. We’re our own worst enemy? Really? I thought you folks at Oxford were smart. You needed ‘a team of experts’ to come up with that? Their reasoning though? We could face extinction due to our reliance on technology. Technology, huh? Did they not see the story about the guy losing his life savings? On ‘ball toss’? And technology is our big risk? I’m gonna go with.. people are stupid. That’s the main problem.
  3. Then again, maybe those blokes at Oxford are onto something. After all, this article on CNN.com is talking about how Google’s predictive search is now coming to the iPhone and iPad. Yes, it was out already for Android for a while – but now it’s pretty much everywhere. And it knows what you’re looking for. It remembers. And it learns. And it very much is starting to sound like Skynet. Which of course brought us a system that can’t be bargained with. Can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear…
  4. And of course, what’s a Friday post without something I like to call ‘news of the odd’. And I don’t care what the reason is. Bottling 300 gallons of your own urine and keeping it in your home is just… plain… odd! For crying out loud man… how many drug tests were you planning on faking, anyways??
  5. And lastly, sometime you just need to laugh and have a little fun. Which is without a doubt what a judge in San Antonio decided to do when he issued a hilarious ruling on a case involving strip clubs and what the dancers must wear at the clubs. Firing off classics such as “An ordinance dealing with semi-nude dancers has once again fallen on the Court’s lap” and “While the Court has not received amicus curiae briefs, the Court has been blessed with volunteers known in South Texas as ‘curious amigos’ to be inspectors general to perform on sight visits at the locations in question”.  Notice the “On-Sight” inspections reference there in the last one? Clever!

Okay folks, that’s five and I’m off to work on some beer related stuff. Yep, Beer’s brewing tomorrow to celebrate homebrew day (a pilsner style for those who want to know). And once I finish, Maybe I’ll make myself some mint juleps.  In the meantime, since one of my co-bloggers decided to hassle me for using a Toby Keith song last week, and in honor of the terminator reference up there… Well, let’s just go with a song that helped make the “I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle” scene so iconic….

Yep, the T-100 was Bad to the Bone..

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer