Monthly Archives: June 2013

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Happy Freakin’ Friday” Edition

Happy Freakin’ Friday everyone! Wow, now there’s a phrase that can be taken several ways, can’t it. Well, I’ll let everyone ponder that for a bit as we blast through this week’s post. Should be a mixed bag this week, with a mix of silly, fun, and… stuff! So, let’s get going, shall we?

  1. I’m a huge coffee guy. I drink a *lot* of coffee. And I’ll be honest, at any given moment the coffee I’m drinking is probably pretty far from being “high quality”.  That being said, I do enjoy what is generally known as good coffee. However, you gotta draw the line somewhere. And when I read articles like this, all I can think of is – “This started as a joke or something right?” I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever been needing a cup of coffee so badly I decided that beans that had been pooped out by an animal would work to make a cup of coffee! And yet now… It’s the most expensive coffee in the world!
    And of course, I can’t mention fancy coffee without bringing up this:
  2. Every now and then, you just read one of those stories that you know had several other working titles in the office before the ‘official’ one was settled on. And I know that probably happened with this one. I could see it being called something along the lines of “Movie nerds pee themselves”. Now, what could possibly prompt that? How about being in the theater as “Man of Steel” launches (And where Superman fights General Zod) only to find yourself in the restroom with the original (movie) General Zod himself, Terrance Stamp. Not familiar with the character? Here you go.
  3. Changing gears a bit, we head to the intersection of (sad) current events and pro sports. I can’t blame the guy for not being amused. It seems ESPN got a little mixed up during coverage of the murder case involving Aaron Hernandez. And referred to the suspect as… Aaron Rodgers. Murder suspect, MVP…. Hey, both start with an ‘M’ right? Sheesh! I gotta side with Mr. Rodgers on this one. Not Funny ESPN.
  4. So, now that we’ve established ‘not funny’ I think it’s time we move toward something that is funny. Seems only fair. We’ve shown some fun posts of people kayak fishing before. Usually it involves large sharks and such, but we’ve never shown a kayak fisherman being attacked before. Until now. And the attacking species? Great White? Nope. Tiger shark? Negative. Mako? Not even close. It was that menace of the sea known as…. the cuttlefish.
  5. And to close it out, a note about a family sticking together. Or maybe not so much, maybe the son didn’t like his cut? Because after recognizing a bank robbery suspect on the television, he called the police. And let them know it was his own mother! Hmmm, maybe he didn’t get the gaming console he wanted for Christmas or something.
    And a side note… the story said she demanded $2500 and got $1092. What, did the bank take out taxes on the withdrawal or something?

Okay folks, that’s five for this freakin’ Friday. I’m knocking off early today to look into spending money I don’t have. So in the meantime, why don’t you join me in freaking out. (See, you knew I’d explain it at some point. Right?)

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Shoot! I forgot the title!” Edition

Howdy folks! If we’re posting this, it must be Friday! It’s been a relatively quiet week for us here, but I haven’t heard anyone complaining. So, where do we go from here? Well, let’s get started and find out, shall we?

  1. I’ve said before that often times I know something is gonna make one of these posts as soon as I see it. I’ve also said before that sometimes the posts just write themselves. And then there are times like this, where you just know a story about two women trying stuff $60,000 in cash into their bras and cross the border needs to be a Five Thoughts item, but there’s just no way to improve upon the basic description. So there you go.
  2. Okay, given the misadventures of some of my co-bloggers, and our general sophomoric senses of humor in general, there was no way a list of 14 Places you have to poop before you die was going to not make the list as soon as we found out about it. I’ll have to leave it to the others to comment on the quality of said list, however.
  3. I’m sorry.. kind of. I know this is a serious subject, and that there are lives in the balance. It’s just that this seems like something I would have seen in a Looney Tunes cartoon while I was growing up. Not something played out in a court of law in real life! It appears that there is an inmate in Death Row trying to get his reprieve overturned. He doesn’t want it. And as I was reading the article all I can think of is….
  4. Sometimes, life imitates art. Other times, apparently it imitates an old Saturday Night Live skit. As in the case of a Chicago Blackhawks fan who suffered a heart attack while watching one of the games of this years Stanley Cup final matchup. 
  5. Lastly, I’m a bit bummed that the scheduling didn’t workout better. Last weekend, the latest Superman movie franchise re-boot came out. I haven’t seen it. I’m not sure I even will. But it has me bummed. If it would have come out one weekend later, it would have coincided with the largest full moon of the year. The “Supermoon”. And then we could have played the whole “it’s a bird, it’s a plane… It’s Supermoon?” routine. You know, “Superman, Supermoon”. Somehow, I don’t think it would work any better than David Letterman’s “Uma / Oprah” bit though.

Okay, that’s five and I’m ready to call it a week. How do I know it’s time to go? Because, I use the formatting to tell me how many things I’ve posted on. Yep, it knows how to add it up. Hmmm… Add it Up. You know, I’ve been taking flak from some people about my song choices, lately so that gives me an idea. No, I’m not going with that one, but I think it’s about time the Violent Femmes make an appearance here. In the meantime, until next week I’m “Gone Daddy Gone“.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Throw it Together” Edition

Howdy folks! Welcome to this week’s edition of five thoughts. I meant to take notes this week, and have a bunch of fun stuff ready to go, I really did. Of course, you can all probably guess from the title how that all worked out. No notes. So we’re writing this one live! Hey, some bands are famous for their live performances! Yeah, not gonna aim for that though – besides… we’re a bit short on pyrotechnics here at the office. Anyway, on with today’s post!

  1. I see the King and PB got their picks up for the Stanley Cup finals this week. I’m still not watching, and was only vaguely aware of how was playing. I gotta wonder though… What happened to the guys from Cigars and Scotch? Did they get left out because they were beating up on the guys too much?
  2. Okay, I often post stuff “just because I can. And this might be one of those times. Or, some people might think it’s ‘cute’. I don’t. I think a 6 year old catching a massive tarpon is freaking awesome! I just have one question though… Did they have a tether on the little guy to keep him from being pulled into the water by that huge fish?
  3. Staying on, or maybe in this case, in the water… Another cool story popped up this week. It seems there’s an expedition that’s trying to find the wreck of the Griffin. The Griffin is a ship dating back to colonial times, that disappeared on Lake Michigan some 300 years ago. And folks, don’t let the name “Lake Michigan” fool you. It may be fresh water but it’s every bit as dangerous as an ocean.
  4. This one has to be from the “Where on earth to these people find the time to come up with this crap?” department. Apparently, someone got a burr in their saddle and decided to file a lawsuit to challenge the copyright of the song…… “Happy Birthday“. I’m telling you, you can’t make this crap up if you try!
  5. Lastly, what’s a Five Thoughts without a note about something automotive related?  And this week, we have one. I like to call it… “How not to treat a car that’s worth $400,000“. And for those of you who don’t want to bother reading it since you probably already guessed what happened? We have a video!  YIKES!!

Okay folks, that’s this week’s thrown together post and I’m off to enjoy what looks to be a nice weekend. Also – Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there!
In the meantime, a little departure from some of the normal music. We’re gonna go with one that used to be in the tape deck of dad’s car growing up.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

2013 Stanley Cup Finals Predictions

NHL Stanley Cup Finals

 

Chicago Blackhawks vs. Boston Bruins

 

Kingkielbasa53 – Yeah, I’ve been wrong way more times than I want to admit this year.  This has not been my year but I blame it on the strike shortened season.  I’m really trying to channel the powers that be and they are coming on strong.  It’s black and yellow and has the ghost of number 8 hanging over it.  Yes, I’m calling the Boston Bruins as the Stanley Cup champions.  Bruins in 6

PB – Yep right there with the King this year. Best part of this Cup Final is that there is two Original Six teams. I don’t like the Blackhawks just because it’s a Chicago team. That said they have a pretty well rounded team for sure. Boston is also well rounded and has just as much talent but I feel they have something a little better and that is their defencemen. I just don’t think Crawford will be able to handle the big forwards of Boston.  I think this is too close to call but the team that wins will do it in game six in double overtime. The player comes down the wing shoots scores!!!!! Patrice Bergeron wins it for Boston in 6

There you go let’s see if the King and PB can pick the finals correctly this time. CHEERS!!

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Tough Enough” Edition

Howdy folks, and welcome to this week’s edition of Five Thoughts. I’m Beermaker, and I’ll be your guide through this week’s review of the weird, wacky, and just plain dumb. First off, to answer a question… No. I was not on vacation last week. PB just wanted to write Five Thoughts last week, and I think he did a bang up job. So, with that out of the way… Let’s get started!

  1. Now, I’m still officially boycotting the NHL, but I never did stop being a fan of hockey. And having played the game, even at a recreational level, you gain a real appreciation for how tough these guys really are. It’s often said they’re the toughest pro athletes around. Usually that’s made in reference to guys playing with a broken jaw, or a big cut from a high stick, etc. Well, I’m here to tell you folks – it’s been done before in the past, but the gold standard of tough in the NHL was just reaffirmed this past week.  What is said standard? Well, let’s just go with the text from the article….
    “The shot broke Campbell’s leg, specifically the right fibula. He stayed on the ice for 10 seconds, clearly in pain. Then he did something only a hockey player would do. He got up and killed the rest of the penalty off.”
    Go ahead. Read that last part again. The part where we put the hyperlink. He finished killing a penalty. On a Broken Leg. For another 40 seconds. That deserves a video, and I think there’s one that fits perfectly…..
  2. Speaking of tough… For years, Ford Motor Company has used a tagline in their truck advertising, “Built Ford Tough”. Turns out, they may want to start using that line in the Mustang advertising as well. We all saw the devastation from the Tornado that tore through Moore,  Oklahoma. Suffice to say it was tragic, and horrible. It was not enough, however, enough to knock a 2003 Ford Mustang off the road. It survived a direct hit from an EF-5 tornado and kept running! The article is really worth a read.
  3. Changing gears a bit here… We all get crap in the mail. Junk mail, bills, advertising flyers, the usually. What we don’t usually get in the mail is actual, bona-fide, dog crap. But that’s what’s happening in a small town in Spain. When people let their dogs do what the need to do, and then don’t pick it up? The city does. And apparently mails it back to the owner as ‘lost property’. Hey, at least they aren’t leaving it on the front porch in a burning paper bag, right?
  4. It’s not often we get to include a PSA (That would be public service announcement in this case) here in a Five Thoughts post. But today we do. Just remember folks, you can steal the copper from the house, but if you steal and drink some of the beer you find there as well…. The police will find you.
  5. And lastly. Apparently today is National Doughnut Day. And what better way to lead into a new part of a theme part dedicated to the family led by one of the biggest doughnut lovers of all. One Homer J. Simpson. Universal Orlando has released pictures of the new Simpson’s themed area of their park. And it looks hilarious! Any one want to go grab a Krusty Burger? As for the link between Homer and doughnuts? It’s very well documented.

Okay folks, that’s five and I’m looking to get an early start on the weekend. In the meantime, I want to close out here with a song/video just for our very own Kingkielbasa. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the choice here today as he prepares to head across the pond. Nothing like a nice song from The Clash to get you going on a Friday.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

2013 3rd Round NHL Predictions

Sigh.  It appears that we really should stop having guest pick out winners for the NHL playoffs.  Here is the updated score sheet:

 

PB- 8 correct

King- 6 correct (for the record, I did pick the length of two of the series in the 2nd round)

Cigars and Scotch -9 correct

 

Western Conference (LA Kings vs. Chicago Blackhawks):

King-Sigh, although I did pick the Hawks to win in 7, I was hoping for a miracle.  It did not happen.  I do think Detroit scare alot of people in Chicago and showed the rest of the league that you don’t need multi-million dollar signings by a whining owner to play great hockey. (I’m looking at you Minnesota!)  I also believe when Quick is on his game, he’s one scary goalie.  He’s looked on his game lately. Wait….a message coming in….Dustin Brown…please put Shaw through the boards..signed Flippula.  Kings in 6

 

CigarsandScotch -[Holds envelope up to head] Food in the crown!

[Blows into envelope] The Hawks will take the Kings out to lunch!

Okay, the ‘Hawks escaped with their headpieces intact from the Wings and have some serious mojo working for them.  Sharp and Toews are coming around.  Add that jerk Hossa and his buddy Kane and the Blackhawk forwards are strong.

Crawford has been standing on his head as of late and he could be the difference in this series.

The Kings are just solid all around.  They are big, deep, and sound.  Bottom line, though is Quick. He carries this team on his back.  Unfortunately, it is not big enough.

Hawks topple the Kings in 6.

 

PB – This will not be as fun a series as the Wings v. Hawks. LA should not even be allowed to have a hockey team as 98% of that whole area does not even know who Eddie Shore is. I saw a lot of holes in the Hawks game but I will leave that to LA to figure out. Toews was being sucked off as a great leader by NBC against the Wings but showed he is not as mentally strong as other captains. LA has solid d-men that can handle the forecheck of the Hawks. Oh did I mention that LA has the best goalie in the league in Quick? This series comes down to both teams are happy the Wings are moving East next year. Oh wait that’s another topic (hee hee hee). Bottom line is both teams are solid but there is only one Quick. Dustin Brown smashes Andrew Shaw into the boards and takes out the first three rows of Hawks fans. Kings in 5

 

Eastern Conference (Boston Bruins vs. Pittsburgh Penguins)

King-I’m starting to believe there is someone with a sillier playoff beard than Crosby…Shaw from the Blackhawks.  Will Iginla be this years Hossa after turning the offer from Boston down to watch them hold up the cup? I’m not sure if Boston is that great or New York was that bad, but if they can win a series with Rask playing net as Jackie Chan’s Drunken Master……they are my pick.  I’m so sorry to Boston for turning my back on you.  Please Cam Neely forgive me and welcome me back into the family.  Bruins in 7

CigarsandScotch-[Holds envelope up to head] Cleaning their claws

[Blows into envelope] What the Bruins will be doing after this series

I am sticking with the Bruins all the way through this thing.  I think their aggressive forechecking style will really slow the Pens down enough for Lucic to stay hot.  Watch out for Marchand as well.

The Pens have Vokoun playing like crazy now, so if they can break the Bruins checking and out skate them, Vokoun will keep them in the game to let them score a boatload of goals.

Bruins squeak by in 7.

 

PB – One of my favorite teams in the Bruins because my youngest son thinks Seguin is awesome from his days as a Plymouth Whaler. ( Like the OHL reference?) Thing is Boston is solid on all four lines with no real “Superstar” that a team can key on. The Pens however were channeling their inner wannabe late 90’s Red Wings and put a collection of future HOFers for a Cup run. FYI I still think Crosby is a #ussy (Trying to keep it PG for ya King) Feel bad for Vokoun because Boston will crash the net hard and look out for Chara’s 100+ mph slapper from the point. Love Iginla but sorry to say the run is over. Bruins in 6 with all games going into 2 OT’s.

And since CigarsandScotch has had a stellar run in these predictions, I’ve got to give them their due.  Here’s a little message from them.

 

“Bring it, Ladies!  75% right last round.  Wait, what was that?  Didn’t we pick 75% in the first round as well?  Damn straight! Vegas is calling right now.  Gotta go.

 

Blatant plug: Dont forget to download the Cigars and Scotch Podcast from iTunes, Stitcher, or TuneIn Radio.”