Tag Archives: Drunk

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Out in the Woods” Edition

Howdy folks, and welcome to the latest in our ongoing mockery of the writing skills we were supposed to have learned while we were in school.  Hopefully this post finds you all safe and sound, it being the day after deer season officially opened here at home (True, bow season has been open for a bit – but the big one is always firearm season). Anyhow, PB may be out in the woods today, but I’m here, so let’s see what we can come up with. Before we start though… we secretly recorded PB heading out to the woods on his last hunting trip

  1. Let’s start right out in the “You’re not real bright, are you?” department. Most people would agree, the best way to resolve differences in a negotiation is to keep working to find middle ground. So naturally, the NHL is talking about taking a 2 week break from labor negations to end their lockout. I swear, you couldn’t make this stuff up if you were writing a comedy! Talk about a joke of a league. And oddly enough, I’m not missing them. In fact, at this point I hope they stay locked out. These types of stories are FAR more entertaining than the actual games.
  2. One of my partners in crime like to post a “Retro Commercial of the Wee” on twitter every now and then. Well, here’s one for the week in honor of the dearly departed “Twinkie the Kid“. Yes, it’s true – Hostess is going out of business, and with them go the Twinkies.  (Didn’t someone tell them that two states just legalized pot? All they needed to do was hang on a little bit longer! I kid! I kid!) Seriously, though – guess they’ll have to keep finding new things to deep fry at the Texas State Fair!
  3. For the next one, we’ll move into the “I have no words” type of find. I mean, there’s drunk, there’s really drunk, and then there’s “I was so damned smashed I didn’t think having a dead skunk in the car with me was abnormal drunk!” I’m just surprised it wasn’t in Florida.
  4. Changing gears completely, we need to touch on a serious issue. I’m talking about the War on Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, you know what I’m referring to. Those Christmas decorations that have been in the store since before Halloween. The Christmas music on the radio already. And even the fight on the second front that Turkey day is now losing. Yes, I’m referring to Black Friday Creep. It’s no longer enough to open your doors at midnight or 4 am on Black Friday – Oh no, now there are sales on Thursday morning! Well, one group is trying to fight back. And they have my support. I won’t be shopping at all on Thursday or Friday! (As long as buying drinks at the bar doesn’t count!)
  5. Lastly, there’s a certain irony to this one. Here’s the lead line from the article: “A European official says her staff members were hacked when they joined her for a conference on Internet security in Azerbaijan.” That’s right. They were at a conference about Internet security, when their computers were hacked. Maybe they need to go to a couple more conferences, you think?

Okay folks, that’s an oddball five for this week and I’m out of here. No, I’m not heading for the woods. But in honor of all those who are, just remember… we all know what really goes on at there!

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Good Friday…

So my co-blogger has decided to take another siesta from writing. That’s fine, it’s about time I actually tried to hold up my end of the partnership. I’m debating if I really want to call my co-blogger out for a few things, but you know me…. I will do it.

1. Wait, is that a big elephant in the room? Nah, that’s just the giant turd my buddy in crime laid with his “upset” pick. The only other thing that is guaranteed to be a bigger bust is if Tom Arnold really believes his next marriage will be a success. Oh wait Beer….you got a chance!

2.  I have to say that I’ve lost all interest in music videos.  I was until someone told me to check out this music video.  I hate to admit it, but I did laugh my butt off.  Let me know your thoughts?

3. Speaking of youtube, since I’m alone to steer the ship, I’m going to take it and run it right into the rocks.  I don’t know what to say about the following video except…..need a tissue?

4.  I’ve been called an Apple hater.  I will admit that even though I owned the original Ipod I have never been a fan.  Apple fanboys drive me absolutely nuts.  But here is a rare occasion where it’s not Apple or their lawyers putting the stops on something.  It’s CBS!  Can we say stupidity at it’s finest people?

5.  Finally to finish off my picking on my buddy, he celebrated a milestone birthday recently.  Let’s just say this sign would be a perfect gift for his party.
fail owned pwned pictures

Five Thoughts on a Friday…Kielbasa style!

Ahhhh, Friday.  The best day of the work week for me.  Just knowing I have two days of total relaxation is worth the 50+ hours I spend up until that point.  Alright, I’m done.  Let’s get started folks!

1.  It’s the holidays!  I will admit it that I truly love this time of year.  I love the getting together with friends and family.  I love the way homes look all light up with the fancy decorations.  But what I really love is the food.  There is one thing that drives me crazy this time of year.  I will buy it every time I’m at the store.

What’s your favorite holiday snack?

2.  We here at Beerbarrel Productions never shy away from the fact that we’re gamers.  But even I have to admit I’m not as extreme as those that are making this “Frequently bought together” purchasing decision.  Seriously people, you need to take a break.

3. Folks, I’ve never been on a cruise ship before, but I have watched the Love Boat.  I’m guessing there is a lot of things you could have done besides what this man did on his recent trip.

4.If I was a professional NHL team, I would hire me.  Why do you ask?  Well, I can guarantee when a player will get hot because all I have to do is drop him from my fantasy hockey team.  Thanks Khabibulin!

5.  Finally, I give Hollywood a bunch of bad times about their lack of imagination in this day and age.  I’m sorry Hollywood, I didn’t see this coming!

And that brings me to the end.  BTW, make sure you all let Beer know that this was posted on a Friday and not a Thursday…..thanks!

Have a great weekend!