Tag Archives: Porn

Five thoughts on a Friday – The “I forgot to pick a title” edition

Happy Friday everyone. Here we are on another Friday. Looks beautiful outside from where I’m sitting. Only problem is – that’s *inside* so I can’t personally verify if it *is* beautiful outside. Ah well… On with today’s post!

  1. I live in a state where it’s illegal to text message while driving. I’m totally cool with that. Why though, when I drive by the digital state run traffic board on the way home does it often try to direct me to a state website for traffic updates?!?!? Honest officer! I wasn’t texting! I was just punching in the Michigan traffic website address from that sign back there to check for any traffic jams.
  2. Las Vegas apparently now has it’s own “Death Ray“.  Awesome. I think I’ll stick to jumping off of the top of the Stratosphere tower though. Thanks.
  3. I know it’s generated by an automatic process, but I’m still trying to figure this one out. I recently got a “suggestion” email from Amazon.com….
    As someone who has purchased or rated Grand Theft Auto Vice City , you might like to know that Dora the Explorer: Dora’s Big Birthday Adventure will be released on October 26, 2010.  You can pre-order yours by following the link below.
    Exactly HOW Dora the Explorer and GRAND THEFT FREAKING AUTO are related….. I’m not entirely sure.  At least they aren’t (at least I hope they aren’t!) suggesting the Grand Theft Games based on buying Dora games!
  4. People View More Porn After Their Candidate Wins an Election
    Apparently most voters are single and living alone these days, huh? Or did they only survey married couples that voted for opposing candidates? Hmmm?  “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!”
  5. As you get older, you see things you never thought you would. A man on the moon, the Berlin wall falling. Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister singing on Broadway…. Wait, run that last one by me again… Yeah. Ok. I got nothing.

Ok, that’s a Fast Five for today and I’m off to wade through the stuff standing between me and the weekend.
(Could only find the video I wanted preceded by an into, but still….)
Wonder if Dee will sing this one on Broadway?

Have a great one folks!
-Beer

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Five Thoughts on a Friday –

Howdy folks. Here we are on yet another Friday. Looking at the calender I notice that this is my last opportunity to post a Christmas in July edition. Don’t worry though, I think I’m going to pass on that chance this year. Still, it’s been a busy week with a lot of funny things to choose from if you operate with the type of addled brain I do. So, let’s get this one going for the week and see where we land…..

  1. Nascar team owner Jack Roush walked away from a  plane crash in Wisconsin this week. It’s his second plane crash in the past 8 years. Um… Mr. Roush? You appear to be very good at quite a few things, I hate to be the one to point it out, but flying planes (or specifically, landing them) doesn’t seem to be one of them. Surviving one plane crash is luck. A second crash? That’s a hint. Leave the piloting to someone else.
  2. The biggest oil leak you’ve probably not even heard about is causing concerns that the oil make head into lake Michigan. Hey, isn’t that where those Asian carp are headed for too? What happens if the carp and oil meet up? Do we get a Godzilla like carp monster? Maybe Lake Michigan is the place to be this fall, but I don’t think that’s the type of tourism campaign Michigan wants to run.
  3. I really, REALLY have to put this in the “This is news?” category. Yes, i understand Apple has taken a position of not wanting to offer adult oriented applications for it’s iPhone in it’s store. That’s all fine and good, and their choice. But really, did anyone not see this coming? If they didn’t, they obviously haven’t been on the internet in the last oh, 10-15 years. This is a surprise? Porn on a internet enabled phone? I’m shocked! Shocked I say! (No, I’m really not.)
  4. I guess if your team is hovering around .500, you look for anything you can to light a fire under them and get them motivated. Some thing like Oh, I don’t know, complaining about the shoes the other team’s pitcher is wearing.
  5. Every once in a while, you stumble across a topic that you don’t even have to add anything to. As soon as you see a headline that says “Power your building with a flush” you know that you’ve stumbled upon a ready made entry for that week’s list. I love the easy ones. Say it with me folks… Toilet Power!

Wow, we were really all over the map with this one today, weren’t we? I could play it up as needing a vacation (I do, but I always think I do) as a reason for closing with the video picked out for this week, but it isn’t. Turns out my co-blogger will be on vacation before I get a chance to go, but that isn’t the reason either. No, today’s reason for this particular video?

I heard on the radio on the drive in and thought it was kind of catchy. Pretty deep reasoning, huh?

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The Let it Be edition

Uh oh… Is Beer getting ready to go all Beatlemania on something today? No, not really. We’ll just see where this one leads today. Can’t believe it’s Friday again already, guess short weeks can do that to you. Especially when your co-blogger didn’t realize you weren’t going to be in the office on Tuesday, either.

So without further delay, it’s time for today’s Five Thoughts….

  1. I always knew there was an idiot out there for everything. Heck, I’ve always been a firm believer that whenever you make the world idiot proof the world will just go and make a better idiot. Here’s the proof. Picketing a spelling bee? Seriously? Man, you need help.
  2. Staying on the idiot theme for a moment. I don’t mention this one to debate the right or wrong of the attempt at a phantom recall. I want to talk about this memo. Here’s the deal. Anyone who’s come within 30 feet of a business school has heard about the disastrous GM side saddle fuel tank memo. These people went to school they had to have heard about it. Besides that, common sense flat out says YOU DO NOT PUT $HIT LIKE THAT IN A WRITING. End of discussion. To whoever wrote that memo? You’re an idiot, first class.
  3. The king sent this one to me, and to be honest – I don’t want to know what he was searching for when he found it. The headline speaks for itself though… Sword-Wielding Porn Actor Kills One, Hurts Two. Yeah, I can’t top that. Nor do I want to.
  4. Oops. McDonald’s is recalling a bunch of the new Shrek glasses. I guess using a known carcinogen (Cadmium) in paint for drinking glasses is a bad idea. Who knew? This story would have been MUCH cooler if it had been some sort of radioactive contamination, you know? Then the kids could glow green, just like Shrek! (Ok, I know, that was bad.)
  5. And here it is. You knew I wasn’t going to let this week by without throwing in my two cents (Just like everyone else on the planet) on *the* sports story of the week. Armando Galarraga, of the Detroit Tigers pitched a perfect game Wednesday night. Except for one small thing, the box score shows he gave up a hit. See, the umpire blew the call. Here’s the issue I have… It *was* a perfect game. In fact, he went 28 up, 28 down. One more than needed. The umpire has admitted he blew the call, and profusely apologized. I take issue with only one thing. It *was* a perfect game. Stop describing it as “near perfect”. Everyone knows he went 27 up, 27 down. You don’t have to make it “official”, just stop calling it “near perfect”. Call it the “perfect game with the blown call” if you want to. That would work.  And for the record, I tip my cap to the pitcher and to the umpire on this whole deal. They defined being accountable, and classy in their actions after the game.

So there we have it for today. Considering the way I started, maybe it should have been the “Let it rip” or “let it fly” edition. But no, I think the Beatles said it best. Major League Baseball, Commissioner Selig, it appears you’re not going to overturn the ruling on the field for Armando Galarraga’s perfect game. To that, I say “you’re getting it right, please don’t. Let it be.” That game is far better defined by what happened that night and the actions of the the men involved if it’s left to stand on its own as it is. Let it be.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The road to nowhere edition

Wow, Friday again already. I guess it’s a good thing when the work week breezes right by. Lot’s going on and lots coming up. It keeps you hopping. Here in the States, we’re coming up on Memorial Day. Now, it’s regarded a a lot of things – 3 day weekend, the official start of summer, the okay to wear white (I don’t get that one either) but the real reason is to remember those who gave their lives in service to their country. So regardless of your opinions of anything currently happening, think kindly of those who have passed on. Now, there’s one other thing that Memorial Day weekend tends to bring, road trips! And NO, I am not playing “On the Road Again”. We’re staying home, but I am going to roll out this week’s five thoughts.

  1. We’ve already established that I like lists. I especially like lists that include a number of the scariest highways to drive on. Best part is, I’ve driven a number of them already, and have a trip scheduled for another. Worst part? I think my daily drive into the office is scarier.
  2. It’s like a road trip, but with BBQ! Having been through this area, I can also joke that to some it may qualify for the scary highway trip. The food, outstanding! The article, timely. Although in all honesty, there should be one more stop on that trail. A stop at the cardiologist’s office.
  3. Don’t go down THIS road. Seriously, this is a public service courtesy of the Beerbarrel. Do not *ever* use a search term like “wild Asian ass” in a search engine to finish the crossword puzzle of your local paper. It will not end how you think it will.
  4. The road at the bottom of the ocean. A cool story about a lost, but mostly preserved city being explored. Underwater. You’ll need a bigger boat.
  5. The end of the road? Granted, they haven’t done a really noteworthy vehicle of their own in decades now, but it would be really sad to see another historic automotive brand consigned to the scrap heap in the sky.

And that’s five roadmarkers thoughts, so it’s time to hit the gas and move along. Where are we going? Nowhere.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five thoughts on a Friday – The “These posts don’t write themselves” edition

A rainy Friday. Boo. Still, a rainy Friday is better than a sunny Monday. Why, you may ask? Well because silly. Friday means it’s time for this week’s edition of Five Thoughts! (Too self important? I was going for lighthearted fun.)

Let’s see… where to start this week? I know, let’s start here:

  1. Brett Micheals, former Poison frontman admitted this week that he was home “watching porn” when his brain hemorrhage occurred.  Turns out he was flipping between ESPN and “Busty Cops 3”. I have an idea.. someone get in touch with Netflix and let me know if rentals of that title suddenly increase.
  2. Would this get filed under “Whoops! Our bad!” by the medical community if it ends up being true?  Study suggests smallpox vaccine may protect against HIV That would be the smallpox vaccine that they stopped using in the 1950’s because smallpox was basically eliminated.
  3. In my continued despise for all the remakes that are coming out, I have to admit that when I first read about this I thought it sounded like a horrible idea. Especially when I heard they would change the theme song. Well, it isn’t as bad as I feared. The remade the song, they didn’t change it. That makes sense. it may still bomb on TV before anyone even knows it’s there, but you DO NOT change the theme song to Hawaii Five-O. The song WAS the show. A remake/cover of the song is understandable.
  4. Last week it was a zombie satellite. This week… Aliens hijacking a satellite? I sure hope they aren’t yelling at us to get off of their lawn! (and take our toy with us)
  5. See, this is why the internet is bad for grammar. The headline of the article is “Nude cemetery photos result in charges“. That means he’s been charged with a civil infraction. A crime. The headline as it appeared on the MSN.com site was (and this is a direct cut and paste folks) “Man charged for nude cemetery photos“, which leads you to think… “Well, how much did they cost?” See the difference there? Technically, there’s a price to be paid either way, but the meanings are quite different.

You really can't make this type of stuff up

Ok, so that’s five and it’s time to switch into weekend mode!

(You didn’t think I’d skip the video, did you? This one seems fitting given the Voyager 2 article…)

I really wanted to go with the original Hawaii Five-O, but I held off. Too easy.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – the “I feel a draft” edition

Friday is here once again, and so it’s time to cobble together five thoughts. You might have noticed the NFL draft started last night. If not, no biggie. It does lead to some interesting moments thought, and with that little observation we’re off and running into this week’s 5 things!

  1. I have a love/hate relationship with sports radio. I like being able to listen and get news and scores. I hate listening to some of the calls that come in to those shows. They’re painful to listen to. And in regards to a draft (especially in football), I’m convinced that some people will only be happy if their teams keep trading down until they own every pick in the draft’s last round. Of course, that wouldn’t make them happy either because they truly don’t seem to grasp one thing… EVENTUALLY YOU NEED TO PICK A PLAYER TO DRAFT!
  2. I’ll just file this one under “scary as heck“. There are still people unaccounted for, that stinks.
  3. While putting things under file headings… This one goes under HOLY CRAP!!! As if a headline reading Security camera in Ohio captures runaway saw blade isn’t enough to grab your attention. Make sure to check out the video.
  4. And….. this one goes under “What the…???” Seriously, the TSA needs to tell people that they shouldn’t being an automotive airbag (which is classified as an explosive device) onto an airplane??? Really? Sadly, I guess they do. So, were they carry on luggage or was it a checked (air)bag?
  5. This one is almost too easy. In fact, I debated not even using it but I just can’t pass it up though. Turns out that the SEC watches MORE than just stocks, bonds, and financial markets. It also watches PORN. Lots and lots of porn. On the taxpayer clock.  So it’s stocks, bonds, financial markets, and boobies! (Among other things, I’m sure). We’ll just go ahead and file this one too. Right under “We can’t make this stuff up”.

That’s five, and to keep with our draft theme we’re going to turn back to a football related video on the way out. No, it’s not draft specific but I think it’s a fun one. Years back, a local sports reported decided to film a segment with then Detroit Lion Chris Spielman. To say it didn’t “go as planned” for the reporter may be an understatement.

That’s all for now folks, have a great weekend!
-Beer