Tag Archives: story

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “What the What?!?!” Edition

Hello friends it’s your friendly neighborhood PB bringing you this week’s Five Thoughts on a Friday. This week was a lot of fun with it being Halloween and all. Hope yours was not as soggy as ours. If you are wondering where Beer is well that is hard to say. Something about work and actually doing it to get paid or some damn thing like that, so here I am. Just like Huey Lewis and the News say working for a living right?

Let’s check out what we have going this week shall we?

  1. Like the title says this week is “What the What” and boy is this a doozy. If you wear a costume that says you are one thing, please don’t get arrested for doing it to someone else like let’s say your boyfriend. Just another example that alcohol can lead stupid people to do even more stupid things.
  2. Once in a while even in sports you can make a “What the What” moment. I have played various sports in my days and watched plenty more with friends but this one was truly a “OH HELL!!” moment. If you are a professional soccer player you know the rules buddy.
  3. This one is also from the ranks of too much alcohol can get you into places and situations that when you wake up you say “What the What?!?!?” I know that would be my reaction if I found myself being arrested as I woke up on the back of a horse
  4. This one is a story and non-story at the same time. The man at the center of this story has passed on. Good thing is they didn’t do to him like what he did to a dead whale back in 1970. How does this tie into the theme today you ask? He did what to what to a whale and it did what?!?! Thank you George for this moment most will never forget! 
  5. This is what you don’t want to find when you are hunting ever. If you are in a tree stand and you shoot a deer wait a little longer to come down and check out your prize. If there is another buck hanging around and won’t leave when you come down, I would stay back and do not mess with that buck for sure!! Good thing these guys are quick.

Well folks that’s the Five Thoughts for this week. Hope you had a wonderful Halloween and received lots of treats and no tricks, unless you’re into that kinda thing. In honor of a ground breaking artist that passed this week we say thank you Lou Reed and see you on the Wild side.

 

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Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Weird, Gross, Painful, and Freekin’ Cool “Edition

Hello Folks! You guessed right it’s time for Five Thoughts on a Friday the PB edition. As you can tell from the title it will be the start of the annual October festivities of Halloween soon! I hope to entertain you and not in a scary way……..I hope. The bin is full of thrilling items so as Vincent Price said in a great 80’s song “It’s time for, the THRILLER!!!”

  1. This one is from the “Weird” file. I think we all at one time said I wish I could just disappear for a little while. There are even those times when in a fit of anger you may have said “DROP DEAD!” to someone you like or don’t like. But this guy takes it to a whole new level by wanting to come back from the dead? How does one handle it when a judge says “your dead honey.”  
  2. This one is from the file marked “Cool”. For all of those kids that play with Hot Wheels cars love how they change colors this one is right in your wheel house. Sounds like they finally have it down to have your paint job change colors depending on the weather. TOO COOL!!
  3. This one comes from the file marked “Painful”. People tend to make mistakes when messing with drunk people. With that said doesn’t mess with a drunken lady with a hand grip like a vice especially when she is pissed off! Also don’t let her get a hold of the man parts because that will hurt! We all know how it ends when you start messing with Sasquatch
  4. From the files of “Gross” comes this dandy one. I don’t know what possesses people to do such things like not replacing the toilet paper roll when empty or let your pet stick its tongue in your mouth after knowing it uses it to lick parts on themselves. I still shake my head with at the thought of this. If you see something on the floor that resembles food and did not see someone put it there, why would you pick it up and eat it? I guess you can ask this TV weather guy and also enquire how the cat puke tasted. Yep you guess it he ate cat puke on LIVE TV?!?!
  5. Finally this is from the “FREEKIN’ COOL!!!!” file. Only in New York do they get such fun things happening. This one needs no introduction so ladies and gentleman………I give you………………..Sir Paul McCartney!!!!!!

Well all that’s that for this edition of Five Thoughts the PB edition. It is a wonderful sunny day here in Michigan so please get out and enjoy yourself. I feel a little old school Black Sabbath coming on. So in honor of the army getting closer to making this a reality, I know Ironman would be proud!

On behalf of Beer, The King and me PB, have a great weekend everyone!!

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Dead Fridge” Edition

Howdy folks,  and welcome back to another one of Beermaker’s crazy, silly, occasionally amusing, and always self-indulgent posts in the “Five Thoughts” series. What are we going to talk about on this gray, wet, and rainy Friday? Well… let’s find out!

  1. For starters… It’s the first day of fall. And.. The sky is falling!
    ” Satellite still on course for Friday re-entry; destination still unknown”
    Now, when I said it was raining I meant actual rain. You know, water. Not giant hunks of flaming satellite remnants! Then again, the satellite is only 6 1/2 tons and the size of a school bus so the odds of someone somewhere on earth are only pegged at 3200-1 by NASA. Those don’t seem like great odds, do they?
    And the destination unknown? That’s bothersome. Not only because of the uncertainty, but because it got this song stuck in my head!
  2. And in the “This is no shock” department.. Some people have no sense of humor. Apparently, a mom group has a problem with the new Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor, Schweddy Balls
    Wait – women who DON’T like ice cream??????  Ok, cheap shot, I know. But how can you not get a laugh from this?
  3. I have to mention this next article, strictly based on the sheer amazement I felt in realizing the amount of work people are putting into redesigning… A Ketchup Packet!!
    Seriously… This was a problem? After over 40 years? The old ones stopped working or something?
  4. As has been fairly well documented by now, I was out traveling around last week. And I returned home to a dead refrigerator. Actually, it’s wasn’t completely dead. The power was still on and it was recirculating warm air instead of cold. Let’s just say I have a pretty good idea what a dead body would smell like now. And apologies to the trash guys who picked up that garbage can. They probably thought they had found Jimmy Hoffa. Nope, just spoiled beef and turkey.
  5. Fortunately, being a homebrewer generally leaves you with two things that make returning home from vacation to such a situation as I did far more bearable. Those being:
    -BEER
    -A Second, (and in this case – a Third) spare refrigerator.
    Amazing how something like a few cold brews can help out.

    (So much for another Alcohol Free edition, huh?)

Okay folks, that’s five and I’m out of here. I’m out of here to start in on my weekend. And as for the dearly departed fridge? You what the worst part was?
Not the lost food. Not the money the new one cost us. No, the worst part of coming home to a dead fridge? That Smell.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Notes from the Road! Okay, more like from an island…

That’s right. I said Island.

Beer was on another boondoggle last week. Hmm.. “Beer’s Boondoggles”, sounds like a travel column. So where was Beer this time? In the Bahamas. Nassau to be exact. Um.. Beer? You said this was last week? Wasn’t there a hurricane down there? Yes, several. And they were delicious… OH! You mean Irene, don’t you?

Yes, there was a category three hurricane. We even got pictures and video. I do not however, have any of them off the camera and also do not have the camera with me.  Still, let’s see what we picked up on the trip…

Charlotte airport. Nice place. Easy to get around. Have flown through there a few times this year. But for the love of all that is holy, they need to get rid of creepy bathroom attendant guy in the men’s room there. Creepy bathroom attendant guy is bad enough at a nightclub or bar… I don’t need him showing up at an airport!

Nassau in the Bahamas. Fantastic, beautiful place. All inclusive resort? Go on then, even better! And Dr. No was partly filmed there.

Best part of some of these trips? The great people you meet. I’m convinced the relaxed atmosphere makes it easier to make new friends.

Coming back to reality and real life sucks. That is all.

I have no story that will ever top the one from a few years ago in the airport. “If your pants are falling down because you left you belt at the security screening area please return to claim your belt”… Over the airport PA system.

Yes, we got hit by hurricane Irene on our trip. They told people to grab what they needed as the moved us to a ballroom for a while. We grabbed the mini bar. We became quite popular. I can now say that I can cross F5 tornado (Oklahoma City, 1999) and Category 3 Hurricane (Nassau, 2011) off of my “I survived” list. Funny thing is, I don’t ever remember setting out to complete any type of list like that.

Okay, I’ve rambled enough for now… When we get the videos off the camera, and if I remember – I’ll try to get some of them posted. In the meantime here’s one that a guy we met made while we were at the resort last week. I think he secretly wants to be on the Weather Channel (who really missed the mark on the forecasts on Irene, btw).


Thanks Gaz!

Later folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The Doughnut Day Edition

Friday Again! Amazing how fast it gets here when your week starts on a Wednesday. Yep, you read the right. Shortly after posting last weeks Five Thoughts Beermaker hit the road for some R&R. I also got chastised for using Traffic’s “Dear Mr. Fantasy”, although coming from someone who also sent me a link to the snazzy napper I’m thinking I don’t have much to worry about. So with all that said, let’s see what’s kicking around in Beermaker’s brain today…

  1. I have to lead with this. It’s a moral imperative (Bonus points if you can pick out the movie that’s from). Today is National Doughnut Day! And did we get doughnuts here at the office? Of course not. Damned diets. If I were you, I’d check out the local Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme.
    And what’s National Doughnut Day without Homer Simpson?
  2. We aren’t huge basketball followers here at Beerbarrel Productions. Especially not the pro game. I’ve actually considered looking for someone to help with that. That aside, I’m going to miss Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq tweeted out his retirement the other day. As I told my co-blogger, there aren’t very many guys like him left in sports. No, I don’t mean 7 foot whatever and 300 pounds. I’m talking about guys who “get it”. Guys who seem to understand that it’s a game, they’re truly fortunate, and are enjoying the ride for all it’s worth. You can just see it in their eyes (even if they are as intense as can be during the game) and hear it in their voice. They’re having fun. We need more of those types in pro sports, not less.
  3. 2 weeks on, and a lot of people are still talking about the rapture that wasn’t. And they’re asking a lot of questions about the money that was spent on it. I just wonder, after looking at the guy who predicted it again that maybe they aren’t asking the right person. I just want to know, if Jeff Dunham playing a prank on all of us? When I look at the two side by side, I see it now…  (Yes, I photo shopped it together)
  4. In the news this morning, a small beacon of light, of hope. In the face of once again rising oil prices comes the news that one of the banes of humanity may be facing its end. No, we aren’t talking another terrorist or dictator or anything like that. We’re talking about that damned impermeable, hermetically sealed, often sharper than the razor blades it sometimes holds plastic “clamshell” packaging! Turns out the high oil prices are making it too expensive. Finally! A silver lining to high oil prices!
  5. Earlier this week our picks for the Stanley Cup finals went up. I think the post name says it all. “The Greatest Trophy“. It really is, no other trophy in sports can match it. Not just because of its age. or the names being etched on it. That’s part of it for sure, but just the history of that trophy. The stories that go along with it. Ones like this article, “The 10 oddest places the Stanley Cup has ever visited“. No other trophy comes close.

Ok, that’s five for this week and I’m off to see if ANYONE around here brought in some donuts.

And while I know it isn’t really fitting for the season, but what the heck… This one is fun, and timely…

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “It isn’t tax day!” edition

Happy Friday everyone!

Yep, you read that title correctly. Today is April 15th, 2011 here in the U.S. and that means, it isn’t tax day! What’s that? No, I’m not smoking anything. It’s actually true. Today is not tax day. Read on to find out later in the article.

  1. I’ll start with this one today. As you can see from our last post, we’re in full NHL playoff mode around here this week. And you can truly tell the it’s playoff time when you notice things like this….
    Last night, I was going over the game preview for the Montreal/Boston game. And on the injury report for Montreal is this entry:
    MTL: Max Pacioretty (Lower Body)
    Yeah. THAT Max Pacioretty. The guy that got destroyed by Zdeno Chara. So let me get this right… he got run into a dasher head first, and injured his lower body?

    Yeah…. that looks like a lower body injury to me. I’d have listed it like this:
    MTL: Max Pacioretty (Do we REALLY need to even mention it?)
  2. Okay, now with that out of the way…  On to the silly (Although thinking ANYONE believes “Lower Body Injury” is pretty silly, if you ask me). Such as this random thought from Beermaker’s Brain:
    “Hearing Jimmy Buffet cover Jimi Hendrix is just weird” I mean, Jimmy Buffet’s live version of “The Wind Calls Mary” works, and it’s cool, but hearing a guy famous for playing mellow gulf type music doing a song by a guy famous for a screaming electric guitar? Things I just never would have figured.
  3. So let me get this straight…. China is banning time travel shows, among other things, on television in that country…. but 3-d porn is apparently okay.  (And yes, I know Hong Kong is a bit different from mainland China. I’m going for a joke here. Work with me people.)
  4. I was going to put something here about surprise that two longtime soap operas were being canceled (and I guess I sort of just did), but I don’t watch those so it doesn’t really impact me much. Besides, I want to tell a little story from a walk at lunchtime the other day.  Because when else do you get to type what I’m about to?
    I was walking by the pond at our office up here and there were a few geese. One goose, being aggressive/defending it’s territory/whatever sort of went after another goose. And that’s when it happened…
    I saw a goose goose another goose.
    And never in my life did I think I’d get to write a sentence like that!
  5. And finally… Today is April 15th, traditionally “Tax Day” (The day your tax return to the U.S. government needs to be postmarked by). Due a hitch in policy and the calendar, this year the deadline to file is April 18th.  So this year, April 18th brings just one more reason to hate Mondays. Your taxes are due.

Ok folks, that’s five and I’m off to finish off some things here at the office before I venture off into the weekend and mid-life crisis land! And be sure to check back next week, when Kingkielbasa will be filling in with his second annual Good Friday edition (which will probably be posted Thursday night).

Have a great weekend!
-Beer

Things we’ve learned on vacation….

It’s no secret that we’ve been in vacation mode here at the Beerbarrel for, well, almost our whole existence.  Every once in a while though, we do actually manage to slip out on a real vacation. With that thought in mind I figured it would be fun to round up some of the things that we’ve learned on our travels.

When on vacation, it’s always a good time for a frozen coke. Even if you have to fix the machine at the 7-11 yourself.

Keep your eyes open for the mini fridge in the middle of the freeway. It comes up kind of unexpectedly. Especially if it’s getting dark out.

Yes. Your car on the subway or train is rocking just as much as the one in front of you.

Seeing people going up the hill to the nude beach can be amusing. Until you see the guy who looks like later in life Jerry Garcia. Yeah, try getting that image out of your mind’s eye. (And sorry for putting there in the first place)

Food tastes better on vacation. It just does. Must be the relaxed setting, away from it all. And hey, what cheeseburger doesn’t taste better when you’re in Key West watching Elvis ride his bicycle down Duval street while wearing ruby slippers. (I am not making that up, I swear)

Sunburn on the backs of your legs, or especially the tops of your feet *really* hurts! (Yes, I know sunburns are bad for you. But these add insult to injury by really being unpleasant to deal with)

When at the buffet line… It’s always prudent to the the ice cream machine to turn pie into pie a la mode.

There are plenty more, but those are a couple of the sillier/more amusing that spring to mind at the moment. There are also a couple that are best just left unsaid. Except for this one…

When your entire dinner table tells you not to eat the pepper. You really *don’t* want to eat that pepper. It isn’t a dare. They’re trying to save you from yourself.

There you go folks! Hope you’re having a decent week. Did we miss any good ones? Just let us know if we did.

Take care!
-Beer