Good morning everyone, and welcome to another hot, sweltering day here at Beerbarrel Productions. Yep, it’s hot. Looking at the map, it’s pretty much hot everywhere right now, but don’t worry! Relief is on the way! How can I be so sure? It’s simple really. There are only about 158 days until Christmas. Hey, I never said it was gonna cool down anytime soon, just that it would! And with that out of the way, let’s see what we can find for today, shall we?
- You know, when it gets hot and humid like it’s been around here, the bugs love it. Mosquitoes, june bugs, you name it. They all seem to be out in force right now. And when you have lots of bugs around, sometimes you need to take some more extreme measures to combat them. Using enough “bug bombs” to partially collapse a building though? I think you took the “bomb” part of the name a little too literally there…
- Speaking of buildings getting knocked down…. I guess nobody double checked the address, since a contractor in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area was hired to demolish a condemned home. Only to knock down the wrong house. That there is a big old “Texas-sized” whoops!
- This is the part of the post where I include something just because I think it’s cool. I went to a school that had a very prominent fencing program (Or so I’m told). Even then, I never paid much attention to it. I think it’s cool, I just don’t really ever think to myself “Hey, I should watch fencing”. Apparently I’m not alone in that. Enter a really fun, cool idea to try to get people to watch. A marketing campaign comparing it to sword fights in the movies.
As the guys from the Guinness ads would say… Brilliant!
- Switching gears into some at least marginally automotive related news, it seems like I can’t let a week go by these days without posting something about people being fired up about privacy. Like this article, that details how law enforcement agencies are tracking the movements of your license plate as you drive around.
- Lastly, just to be evil and give everyone nightmares, I’m including this one. Now, I’ve taken my fair share of vacations. And I’ve taken my fair share of grief for taking those trips from my co-bloggers who like to have fun with my vacation schedule right here on this very blog. This one though… note to self, NO vacations to Peru. Why you may ask? Because I don’t want to bring home a souvenir in the form of a flesh eating maggot inside my head! Yeah, you read that right. It was in her head!
Okay folks, that’s five and it’s time for me to hit the road. And if the police want to track my license plate, that’s fine. Heck, I could even consider it a public service. If they know where I usually go, and I end up somewhere I’m not familiar with, they’ll be able to tell me how to get there. Because obviously, I musta got lost. And with that, someone will finally understand who wubu gubu with the green teeth is…
Have a great weekend folks!
Posted in Feature
Tagged Beer's Boondoggles, Cars, Christmas, Commercials, Conspiracy, Features, Five Thoughts, From Beermaker's Brain, From the News, Silly, stupid, Travel, Vacation
Apologies folks, last week sort of slipped away from us and it was some time Friday afternoon that I realized that we hadn’t done a post for the week. We weren’t all on vacation or anything, in fact I think we were all mostly in the area. Ah well. Anyways, this week we’re back it so let’s see what’s up, shall we?
- I’m a firm believer in the saying “Every time you make something idiot-proof, the world just makes a bigger idiot”. As a result, we seem to have a lot of really dumb people in the world these days. Take this article. I’m sorry, “I forgot it was there” is really no excuse for this. As my cohorts like to pick on me for, I travel a fair bit. A lot of it is on airplanes. If I can remember to not bring the little utility tool knife through security, there’s no reason for more and more people to show up for their flight with a gun! Now, I’m not an anti-gun person by any means, but if you can’t remember it’s in your carry on bag, should you really own a gun in the first place?
- Staying with the “not real bright, are you?” theme… What exactly did this ‘brain surgeon’ think was going to happen when they modified an old machine gun to make it seem like it was firing and drove around town with it mounted on a vehicle? Yep, the police got involved, and they got arrested. As our buddy Red would say….
- And one more for good measure… While summer has been going along swimmingly up here (No seriously, we’re virtually swimming we’ve gotten so much rain here in Michigan this summer! Good thing I have a boat!) it’s been hot, and I mean HOT in other parts of the country. Like Death Valley. Where they made a really fun video showing a ranger frying an egg in a skillet that’s been out in the sun. And that where the idiots came in. People visiting death valley tried to fry eggs. Except, they aren’t using skillets. They’re frying them on the ground, and making a huge mess of things. And now the park literally is asking people to stop frying eggs on the ground.
- Of course, as I’m carrying on about all this I came across this one which points out… I’m going about it all wrong! Well, except that I’m not technically writing a complaint letter. But I love this one, and I wanted to share. And if you look closely on the site, there’s actually TWO great complain letters available. And the only thing I can add is that it just reinforces my belief that if you do need to write a complaint letter, be clear about what was wrong but there’s no reason to be nasty about it. That doesn’t get you anywhere.
- And lastly, I know this will have some people up in arms for various reasons. This blog isn’t the place to worry about that type of stuff though. I’m just putting it here because I think it’s freaking cool that a completely computer controlled unmanned aircraft (With zero human control, not even remotely) is capable of multiple carrier landings. We’re one step closer to Skynet!
Okay folks, that’s five and I’m calling it a day. Why does it seem like I’m cutting it short? Because as I mentioned up in the post, we’ve had a ton of rain around here recently. But today? Blue skies. And in honor of finally seeing a blue sky…
Have a great weekend folks!
Howdy folks, and welcome to this week’s edition of Five Thoughts. I’m Beermaker, and I’ll be your guide through this week’s review of the weird, wacky, and just plain dumb. First off, to answer a question… No. I was not on vacation last week. PB just wanted to write Five Thoughts last week, and I think he did a bang up job. So, with that out of the way… Let’s get started!
- Now, I’m still officially boycotting the NHL, but I never did stop being a fan of hockey. And having played the game, even at a recreational level, you gain a real appreciation for how tough these guys really are. It’s often said they’re the toughest pro athletes around. Usually that’s made in reference to guys playing with a broken jaw, or a big cut from a high stick, etc. Well, I’m here to tell you folks – it’s been done before in the past, but the gold standard of tough in the NHL was just reaffirmed this past week. What is said standard? Well, let’s just go with the text from the article….
“The shot broke Campbell’s leg, specifically the right fibula. He stayed on the ice for 10 seconds, clearly in pain. Then he did something only a hockey player would do. He got up and killed the rest of the penalty off.”
Go ahead. Read that last part again. The part where we put the hyperlink. He finished killing a penalty. On a Broken Leg. For another 40 seconds. That deserves a video, and I think there’s one that fits perfectly…..
- Speaking of tough… For years, Ford Motor Company has used a tagline in their truck advertising, “Built Ford Tough”. Turns out, they may want to start using that line in the Mustang advertising as well. We all saw the devastation from the Tornado that tore through Moore, Oklahoma. Suffice to say it was tragic, and horrible. It was not enough, however, enough to knock a 2003 Ford Mustang off the road. It survived a direct hit from an EF-5 tornado and kept running! The article is really worth a read.
- Changing gears a bit here… We all get crap in the mail. Junk mail, bills, advertising flyers, the usually. What we don’t usually get in the mail is actual, bona-fide, dog crap. But that’s what’s happening in a small town in Spain. When people let their dogs do what the need to do, and then don’t pick it up? The city does. And apparently mails it back to the owner as ‘lost property’. Hey, at least they aren’t leaving it on the front porch in a burning paper bag, right?
- It’s not often we get to include a PSA (That would be public service announcement in this case) here in a Five Thoughts post. But today we do. Just remember folks, you can steal the copper from the house, but if you steal and drink some of the beer you find there as well…. The police will find you.
- And lastly. Apparently today is National Doughnut Day. And what better way to lead into a new part of a theme part dedicated to the family led by one of the biggest doughnut lovers of all. One Homer J. Simpson. Universal Orlando has released pictures of the new Simpson’s themed area of their park. And it looks hilarious! Any one want to go grab a Krusty Burger? As for the link between Homer and doughnuts? It’s very well documented.
Okay folks, that’s five and I’m looking to get an early start on the weekend. In the meantime, I want to close out here with a song/video just for our very own Kingkielbasa. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the choice here today as he prepares to head across the pond. Nothing like a nice song from The Clash to get you going on a Friday.
Have a great weekend folks!
Posted in Feature
Tagged Boston Bruins, Commentary, Donuts, Features, Five Thoughts, Ford, From Beermaker's Brain, From the News, hockey, Holiday, Mustang, NHL, playoffs, Silly, stupid
I’ve come to the conclusion that the next time I’m applying for a new job, I’m bringing Beer with me. Most people want to get the expense account, the company car..not me, I want to get Beer’s vacation schedule. That being said, I’m on my own as Beer is gone again.
1. Oh yeah, I’m running the show. Everyone knows what that means…VIDEOS!!! I’m starting the list off with one of the movies that really brings me back to my youth. Ultraman, Johnny Socko and his Giant Robot…
2. So I have to admit, that even this has me dumbfounded. How do you drunk drive a bridge? I mean, reaction time doesn’t have to be the greatest. Am I missing something here or isn’t it as simple as if boat is present, keep bridge up…if boat is gone, lower bridge?
3.One of my littlest has started a great comment on things he comes across in life now. His line is, “Now, they’re just making stuff up!” That line came to my head the moment I read this article by some of the people we trust in our lives. MMMmmm..hungry?
4. Geek alert…There is always a question that the geeks ask, why aren’t there any real superheroes in our real world? I’m not talking about ones with super powers, obviously even nerds understand a little reality…but Batman and Iron Man are based on normal guys. Well, it looks as though the income from the movie franchise alone wouldn’t be enough!
5. Speaking of Iron Man 3, if you have been living in a hole and haven’t seen what it’s about..here is a little different trailer to entice you to go see it.
Well, that’s it folks. Have a great weekend and enjoy it. We all know that Beer already has started to enjoy his!
Posted in Feature
Tagged Beer's Boondoggles, Features, Five Thoughts, Giant Robot, Ironman, Michigan, Movies, Pacific Rim, Silly, stupid, Ultraman
Wow, what a week in the world of the weird, wild, and wacky we’ve just had. Happy Friday everyone. We’ve had a lot of things to choose from this week, so in typical Beerbarrel fashion we’re going to throw together some random stories that will hopefully at least think about cracking a smile. Let’s get started on it, shall we?
- The problem with having such a wide variety of stories to pick from this week, is figuring out where to start. How about in the Savannah, GA area? That’s where researches have finally found the location of a missing colonial area fort. Now, I realize it wasn’t all that large, and it was way back in the day, and there was – you know – a war going on at the time… But how exactly does one go about losing the location of a fort??? “It was JUST HERE! I swear, this is where we left it!” Still, thought it was cool, so I figured I would pass it along.
- It seems that even as a former commander-in-chief, there are a few things that are still out of President Clinton’s reach. Including being able to talk Led Zepplin into reuniting. Maybe he just didn’t use the correct approach. Maybe he should have said he was “On a mission from God“? Worked for these guys…
- If you spend anytime reading back through this blog, you’ll see that we’ve mentioned a run of bad events on cruise ships. All of them applying to Carnival cruise lines. You know, running aground in Italy, engine fires and overflowing toilets at sea, breaking lose at the dock, failed inspections, and now… two people going overboard offshore of Australia. I don’t know about you, but I think you’d have a hard time convincing me to even set foot on one of their boats right now. They keep trying to come back though. And every time I read another one of these stories, all I can think of is Mickey’s advice to Rocky in the original movie. “Down, stay down!” In otherwords, waive the white flag already folks. Change your name, something, anything!
- I always like to be able to include something about cars in these posts. I always like to include something from the “You’re not real bright, are you?” department in these posts. Every now and then, those two meet up to provide an ideal entry to use in this space. I think the title says it all… Watch A Corvette-Driving Idiot Fail At Donuts Then Commit Hit-And-Run.
- Lastly, this comes to us under the “It’s been done” heading. Big headline – “Man uses spoon to break out of Russian maximum-security prison“. The article goes on to link to another article, and describes how “using only a spoon” to dig a hole through the cell’s ceiling and escape. The authors seem very impressed by that. Apparently they don’t remember the movie “Escape From Alcatraz“. As I mentioned… It’s been done.
Okay folks, that’s five and I’m out of here. Time to go get the boat tuned up and ready to go fishing. That’s right, Beer’s out again next week. A fishing boondoggle is on tap. Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure to leave to blog in good hands. Heck, the guys will probably need to do another round of picks here soon anyways. In the meantime, since we closed with a Clint Eastwood reference, let’s go with that today!
Have a great weekend!
Posted in Feature
Tagged Blues Brothers, Cars, Commentary, Features, Five Thoughts, From Beermaker's Brain, From the News, Just for Fun, Movies, Music, stupid
Good morning everyone, and happy day before National Homebrew Day. And Happy Kentucky Oaks Day (aka Day before Derby Day). And of course, Happy Friday. Wow, that may be some sort of record for links in an intro. Now, onto more pressing/silly/stupid/amusing things….
- When I read this story, I couldn’t decide what was more disturbing… That a Connecticut man “lost his life savings on a carnival game“, Or that said man’s life savings amounted to – wait for it…. $2600. But, apparently that’s what he lost playing ‘ball toss’. Have no fear though, in true American fashion he’s suing the carnival operator claiming ‘the game was rigged’. Are we sure this didn’t really happen in Florida? Regardless, I think this guy needs a visit from our good friend Red.
- See? I knew it! We’re all doomed! Apparently a team at Oxford has determined that the human race is its own greatest threat to its own existence. We’re our own worst enemy? Really? I thought you folks at Oxford were smart. You needed ‘a team of experts’ to come up with that? Their reasoning though? We could face extinction due to our reliance on technology. Technology, huh? Did they not see the story about the guy losing his life savings? On ‘ball toss’? And technology is our big risk? I’m gonna go with.. people are stupid. That’s the main problem.
- Then again, maybe those blokes at Oxford are onto something. After all, this article on CNN.com is talking about how Google’s predictive search is now coming to the iPhone and iPad. Yes, it was out already for Android for a while – but now it’s pretty much everywhere. And it knows what you’re looking for. It remembers. And it learns. And it very much is starting to sound like Skynet. Which of course brought us a system that can’t be bargained with. Can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear…
- And of course, what’s a Friday post without something I like to call ‘news of the odd’. And I don’t care what the reason is. Bottling 300 gallons of your own urine and keeping it in your home is just… plain… odd! For crying out loud man… how many drug tests were you planning on faking, anyways??
- And lastly, sometime you just need to laugh and have a little fun. Which is without a doubt what a judge in San Antonio decided to do when he issued a hilarious ruling on a case involving strip clubs and what the dancers must wear at the clubs. Firing off classics such as “An ordinance dealing with semi-nude dancers has once again fallen on the Court’s lap” and “While the Court has not received amicus curiae briefs, the Court has been blessed with volunteers known in South Texas as ‘curious amigos’ to be inspectors general to perform on sight visits at the locations in question”. Notice the “On-Sight” inspections reference there in the last one? Clever!
Okay folks, that’s five and I’m off to work on some beer related stuff. Yep, Beer’s brewing tomorrow to celebrate homebrew day (a pilsner style for those who want to know). And once I finish, Maybe I’ll make myself some mint juleps. In the meantime, since one of my co-bloggers decided to hassle me for using a Toby Keith song last week, and in honor of the terminator reference up there… Well, let’s just go with a song that helped make the “I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle” scene so iconic….
Yep, the T-100 was Bad to the Bone..
Have a great weekend folks!
Posted in Feature
Tagged Beer, Five Thoughts, From Beermaker's Brain, From the News, Homebrew, Kentucky Derby, Random, Silly, Skynet, stupid, Terminator, Weird