Tag Archives: Porn

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “What the What?!?!” Edition

Hello friends it’s your friendly neighborhood PB bringing you this week’s Five Thoughts on a Friday. This week was a lot of fun with it being Halloween and all. Hope yours was not as soggy as ours. If you are wondering where Beer is well that is hard to say. Something about work and actually doing it to get paid or some damn thing like that, so here I am. Just like Huey Lewis and the News say working for a living right?

Let’s check out what we have going this week shall we?

  1. Like the title says this week is “What the What” and boy is this a doozy. If you wear a costume that says you are one thing, please don’t get arrested for doing it to someone else like let’s say your boyfriend. Just another example that alcohol can lead stupid people to do even more stupid things.
  2. Once in a while even in sports you can make a “What the What” moment. I have played various sports in my days and watched plenty more with friends but this one was truly a “OH HELL!!” moment. If you are a professional soccer player you know the rules buddy.
  3. This one is also from the ranks of too much alcohol can get you into places and situations that when you wake up you say “What the What?!?!?” I know that would be my reaction if I found myself being arrested as I woke up on the back of a horse
  4. This one is a story and non-story at the same time. The man at the center of this story has passed on. Good thing is they didn’t do to him like what he did to a dead whale back in 1970. How does this tie into the theme today you ask? He did what to what to a whale and it did what?!?! Thank you George for this moment most will never forget! 
  5. This is what you don’t want to find when you are hunting ever. If you are in a tree stand and you shoot a deer wait a little longer to come down and check out your prize. If there is another buck hanging around and won’t leave when you come down, I would stay back and do not mess with that buck for sure!! Good thing these guys are quick.

Well folks that’s the Five Thoughts for this week. Hope you had a wonderful Halloween and received lots of treats and no tricks, unless you’re into that kinda thing. In honor of a ground breaking artist that passed this week we say thank you Lou Reed and see you on the Wild side.

 

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Weird, Gross, Painful, and Freekin’ Cool “Edition

Hello Folks! You guessed right it’s time for Five Thoughts on a Friday the PB edition. As you can tell from the title it will be the start of the annual October festivities of Halloween soon! I hope to entertain you and not in a scary way……..I hope. The bin is full of thrilling items so as Vincent Price said in a great 80’s song “It’s time for, the THRILLER!!!”

  1. This one is from the “Weird” file. I think we all at one time said I wish I could just disappear for a little while. There are even those times when in a fit of anger you may have said “DROP DEAD!” to someone you like or don’t like. But this guy takes it to a whole new level by wanting to come back from the dead? How does one handle it when a judge says “your dead honey.”  
  2. This one is from the file marked “Cool”. For all of those kids that play with Hot Wheels cars love how they change colors this one is right in your wheel house. Sounds like they finally have it down to have your paint job change colors depending on the weather. TOO COOL!!
  3. This one comes from the file marked “Painful”. People tend to make mistakes when messing with drunk people. With that said doesn’t mess with a drunken lady with a hand grip like a vice especially when she is pissed off! Also don’t let her get a hold of the man parts because that will hurt! We all know how it ends when you start messing with Sasquatch
  4. From the files of “Gross” comes this dandy one. I don’t know what possesses people to do such things like not replacing the toilet paper roll when empty or let your pet stick its tongue in your mouth after knowing it uses it to lick parts on themselves. I still shake my head with at the thought of this. If you see something on the floor that resembles food and did not see someone put it there, why would you pick it up and eat it? I guess you can ask this TV weather guy and also enquire how the cat puke tasted. Yep you guess it he ate cat puke on LIVE TV?!?!
  5. Finally this is from the “FREEKIN’ COOL!!!!” file. Only in New York do they get such fun things happening. This one needs no introduction so ladies and gentleman………I give you………………..Sir Paul McCartney!!!!!!

Well all that’s that for this edition of Five Thoughts the PB edition. It is a wonderful sunny day here in Michigan so please get out and enjoy yourself. I feel a little old school Black Sabbath coming on. So in honor of the army getting closer to making this a reality, I know Ironman would be proud!

On behalf of Beer, The King and me PB, have a great weekend everyone!!

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Beer Tents and Bratwurst” Edition

Happy Friday folks! Everyone hungry now? Or wondering what in the heck Beer’s brain is operating on this time? I assure you, even though yesterday was IPA Day, the brain is being powered strictly by coffee/caffeine. It’s been a crazy week, but let’s get to it shall we?

  1. We’re gonna jump right in this week and lead off with one from our “Stupid *should* hurt department. Yahoo! called it adding insult to injury. I’d say if you hang a fish over the side of your boat with your hand in alligator infested waters, you shouldn’t be surprised when a gator comes by and takes the fish, AND THE HAND HOLDING SAID FISH. Oh, and yes… you should still get charged with breaking the law. No getting around that one, just because you lost your hand.
  2. With the Olympics in full swing, it’s only natural that we cover an Olympic story this week, don’t you think? Of course, we can’t go for the obvious. No, we’re not going to cover the badminton scandal that’s rocked the games either. Actually, we’re not going to cover anything directly from the games. You see, I’m not sure if this should go in the “You’re not real bright, are you?” category or the “Surely you can’t be serious” category. Either way, the story of a man who got so inspired by the Olympics he attempted to swim from France to New York City would fit into one and/or both of them.
  3. The sad thing about these Olympics? They’re probably the last remaining buffer we have against the onslaught of US election coverage that’s already started. Once the games end, we’ll have to fend for ourselves until the elections actually occur in November. That being said, every once in a while some of the political stories are good for a laugh. Like this one, which details Mitt Romney losing out on the all important endorsement of adult film star Ron Jeremey. You know, I’m not sure that’s a voting block he was going for, anyways…
  4. Some people see this article and marvel at the Air Force tracking every bomb ever dropped. And indeed, that’s actually kind of cool that they can do that (Track them, not drop them. When you get to the point of dropping bombs on other people, well… that’s never a good thing in the grand scheme of things)…. anyways, I don’t look it and think about that. I look at it and think… how exactly do you train/qualify for a job like that? Yes, I know… I’m weird.
  5. Since we’re talking about tracking things down… let’s close on a similar note. Since we’ve well established that Beer’s brain is wired a bit differently it should come as no surprise that I find something like this to be pretty cool. And since I get to write this piece, I get to include this one. Apollo Moon Landing Flags Still Standing, Photos Reveal. I dunno, I know it’s kind of geeky, but I think there’s a couple of cool aspects to that story. First, the fact that the flags are still standing (I can’t imagine they look very good anymore though), and second – that they can even get pictures of a high enough resolution to make that determination. Again, I know… geeky.

Okay folks, that’s five and I need to get out of here. No, Beer’s not heading off on another boondoggle just yet, that comes in a few weeks. No, I’ve got to get out of here so I can go hit up the car show/concert/carnival/festival that’s going on in town tonight. It’s a can’t miss. And besides all the bratwurst, hot dogs, corn on the cob and other assorted foods (Don’t miss the Polish tent!) There’s also the all important Beer tent! So if you need to find me… I’d start looking there. And tomorrow night? Fireworks! And Low Rider! Yep, War is playing tomorrow night. I just need to talk somebody into doing the Nic Cage Gone in 60 Seconds Low Rider hands when they play it.

And of course, the original…..

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

 

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “End of the Year” Edition

“Um.. Beer? You know it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, right? It isn’t the end of the year, it’s not really even all that close to it.”

Hush, and let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Anyways, it’s the last Friday before Thanksgiving in the United States. Next week is Black Friday. With that, the holiday season is off and running and there’s no stopping it. By the time you blink it will be Christmas and then the year will be over. So everyone, take a deep breath and say goodbye to 2011. Because after this weekend, you aren’t going to have time. Anyways, on to today’s post! (I had actually intended to go a bit video game centric in today’s post. What with doing the Star Wars: The Old Republic weekend test last weekend and all. Then the reviews from the LA Auto show started to show up online. And my inner gear-head got all cranked up again. So, let’s start with cars.)

  1.  News from Bizzaro Land, um Los Angeles. The old rules of the known automotive universe no longer apply. Nissan now has a production car (The 2013 GT-R) that will do 0-60mph in 2.7 seconds. I’m gussing it will also get you a speeding ticket in roughly the same amount of time. Not to be outdone (But a completely different type of vehicle), Ford Motor company whipped up some sort of alternate universe Shelby GT500 that has 650 horsepower, will push the 200mph barrier, and… doesn’t get hit with the gas guzzler tax!!??!?!?!! How is that even possible (Don’t get me wrong though, I highly encourage this type of thing!)?
    (Both links are worth following, just for the pictures of the cars)
  2. From the land of “Apparently Hollywood is never going to learn, or admit they have no new ideas”…  NBC has not only accepted a script…but has ordered the production of a pilot. Of the Munsters. Listen, I liked the original Munsters a lot. I love the Munstermobile (Both of them actually, don’t forget Grandpa’s ride!).

    But Hollywood, let it go, folks. Frankly, I’m shocked that they aren’t doing a reality TV show for the casting of the pilot. Oh crap, I hope I didn’t just give them an idea.
  3. Doing the segue… Speaking of pilots (Of a different type). A bit of a scary moment turned comical the other day when the truth finally got out. The captain went to the restroom, where he got stuck due to a faulty door latch. The poor co-pilot, who got left alone to wonder why the captain wasn’t coming back got a message from a passenger. Frankly, I can see some people getting upset when they hear the audio, and I can understand it. But I can also see the co-pilot’s point of view. He opens that door, and control of the plane is at risk. The captain though, I feel for him. How would you like to be known from now on as “The pilot who caused an emergency landing by getting stuck in the bathroom”. He’s going to have to own that one, because there’s no avoiding it. But hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
  4. Switching back over to gaming, as I tweeted earlier in the week, I had a blast testing out the Star Wars game last weekend. And I see there are tons of giveaways for beta keys for the next test weekend now. I think it’s going to be a very good game. Will it threaten Warcraft? I don’t know. WoW has it’s own big content patch coming soon (4.3). Looks like there may be some gaming to be done here in the near future. I’ve also stumbled across The Godfather: Five Families and will give that a look, but I’m expecting to see something akin to mafia wars on Facebook. We’ll see if I’m right or wrong.
  5. Back to television for a moment. I miss “That 70’s Show”. Why do I miss it? I miss it because I miss Red. He got it. He understood that if you’re going to host a pornographic website, as a teacher you probably shouldn’t use your SCHOOL DISTRICT ISSUED LAPTOP to work on it. If you do, that makes you, as Red would say… A Dumbass.

Okay folks. That’s Five and I’m ready to get the weekend (and the end of the year) started. By this time next week we’ll all be in holiday mode. Or a food coma, which is kind of the same thing. Anyways, no music this week. Instead we’re going to let William Shatner make sure you all stay safe if you’re looking to fry a turkey this year. There was no way I wasn’t using this video.

Have a great weekend folks!
-Beer

 

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “Magnificant Seven” Edition

Howdy folks, and welcome to another Friday post. I had hopes/plans to get something else posted during the week, but life and a nasty strain of the plague hit me. Enough about me though, let’s get to making fun of stuff.

  1. Wondering about the title? No, in this case it’s no reference to the movie (Which is worth watching by the way). It’s in regard to some lunacy that my co-blogger and I have been subjected to. Now, it’s no secret that we don’t hold terrestrial radio (That would be AM/FM) in very high regard. However, even lower on the pole are some of the people who call into sports talk radio shows. Like the ones this past week. The people who called in saying that a defenseman in the NHL hadn’t “given the team a deal at all” on his contract. That he “wasn’t worth that much”. These are the same people who said two years ago that he “should retire” because “wasn’t what he used to be”. Yeah, he isn’t what he used to be. He used to be a six time Norris trophy winner as the best defenseman in the NHL. He isn’t that anymore. He’s now the SEVEN TIME (in 19 years!) Norris Trophy winner. Congratulations to Nick Lidstrom, one of the all time greats to play the game. And as for that contract amount nonsense? Go here. Look at the list of names and salaries. Now, tell me the defending Norris trophy winner isn’t a deal at $6.2 Million.
  2. Sticking with sports, well.. I’ll let my IM to my co-blogger stand on its own here:
    This is actually kind of sad… I know they’re much smaller rosters, but the way this fantasy draft gets into guys that were considered “just above average” in the top 100 say a lot about basketball not really having a lot of real stars….  (ok, it’s actually 120 players)
  3. I heard about the big celebratory dinner that the Dallas Mavericks had after winning, and now the sotry about the Boston Bruins has come up. My co-blogger caught this one and sent it along. It’s no surprise that when pro athletes (who are generally pretty darned well off) finally win it all, they party big. The story regarding the Bruins goes beyond big though. Why? Because someone got ahold of the receipt, that’s why. And it is EPIC. It’s posted at Fan 590 out ofToronto. Among the highlights? $180 worth of Red Bull. The lowlights? “Okay.. Who ordered an Amstel Light?!?!?”
  4. Sometimes, you get a freebie when posting about crazy stuff. This is one of those times. When the headline itself reads “Colo. police nab man accused of hiding in toilet” what more do you need to say? Of course, then you read it and see “Yoga Festival” and the line “A festival security officer says he chased a man who eventually emerged, but the suspect slipped away. The man was covered in human waste.” Yeah. I’m done here.
  5. Lastly, a story about the IT guy who got fired and retaliated by inserting porn pictures into a powerpoint presentation the CEO was giving. What’s that? You’ve heard this story a hundred times before? Well, yes and no. You’ve heard the part I just covered, sure. However, did you hear the part about the police searching the house for evidence in the hacking found home-made handgun silencers and materials to make more? Yeah, I didn’t either. Dude’s now up on federal felony charges for that. Yikes. I guess the moral of the story – don’t build your silencers at home if your hacking computer systems in a manner that will likely result in the police visiting your home. Or just, you know. DON’T make the silencers. That would work out well, too.

Ok, that’s five! Even if it was a little long winded today. We’re heading on out and we’re going to build on the movie theme again this week. No hidden quote this time though. This post shares part of it’s name with a movie. A movie opening this weekend has a character who shares a surname with a a guy in “The Magnificent Seven”. And it ain’t Yul Brynner. Who is it? It’s the guy she’s singing about.

Have a great weekend folks! next week you get a post from Kingkielbasa! Suppose I should let him know, huh?
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The “It isn’t tax day!” edition

Happy Friday everyone!

Yep, you read that title correctly. Today is April 15th, 2011 here in the U.S. and that means, it isn’t tax day! What’s that? No, I’m not smoking anything. It’s actually true. Today is not tax day. Read on to find out later in the article.

  1. I’ll start with this one today. As you can see from our last post, we’re in full NHL playoff mode around here this week. And you can truly tell the it’s playoff time when you notice things like this….
    Last night, I was going over the game preview for the Montreal/Boston game. And on the injury report for Montreal is this entry:
    MTL: Max Pacioretty (Lower Body)
    Yeah. THAT Max Pacioretty. The guy that got destroyed by Zdeno Chara. So let me get this right… he got run into a dasher head first, and injured his lower body?

    Yeah…. that looks like a lower body injury to me. I’d have listed it like this:
    MTL: Max Pacioretty (Do we REALLY need to even mention it?)
  2. Okay, now with that out of the way…  On to the silly (Although thinking ANYONE believes “Lower Body Injury” is pretty silly, if you ask me). Such as this random thought from Beermaker’s Brain:
    “Hearing Jimmy Buffet cover Jimi Hendrix is just weird” I mean, Jimmy Buffet’s live version of “The Wind Calls Mary” works, and it’s cool, but hearing a guy famous for playing mellow gulf type music doing a song by a guy famous for a screaming electric guitar? Things I just never would have figured.
  3. So let me get this straight…. China is banning time travel shows, among other things, on television in that country…. but 3-d porn is apparently okay.  (And yes, I know Hong Kong is a bit different from mainland China. I’m going for a joke here. Work with me people.)
  4. I was going to put something here about surprise that two longtime soap operas were being canceled (and I guess I sort of just did), but I don’t watch those so it doesn’t really impact me much. Besides, I want to tell a little story from a walk at lunchtime the other day.  Because when else do you get to type what I’m about to?
    I was walking by the pond at our office up here and there were a few geese. One goose, being aggressive/defending it’s territory/whatever sort of went after another goose. And that’s when it happened…
    I saw a goose goose another goose.
    And never in my life did I think I’d get to write a sentence like that!
  5. And finally… Today is April 15th, traditionally “Tax Day” (The day your tax return to the U.S. government needs to be postmarked by). Due a hitch in policy and the calendar, this year the deadline to file is April 18th.  So this year, April 18th brings just one more reason to hate Mondays. Your taxes are due.

Ok folks, that’s five and I’m off to finish off some things here at the office before I venture off into the weekend and mid-life crisis land! And be sure to check back next week, when Kingkielbasa will be filling in with his second annual Good Friday edition (which will probably be posted Thursday night).

Have a great weekend!
-Beer

Five Thoughts on a Friday – The Back in the Grind Edition

Good morning folks and welcome to yet another Friday. Yep, that’s right. It’s Friday again already. I guess it comes with being busy but it seemed like it got here awfully fast for me. (Then again, like I said – it’s been busy around here)

So let’s get started, shall we?

  1. Locally the story of the week has pretty much been one thing. The University of Michigan fired their football coach. The ensuing chaos coming out of the clown college athletic department has been quite amusing. That and the calls into the radio shows from rabid fans who probably couldn’t find U-M on a map if you spotted them a map of Ann Arbor, MI. In the meantime, “As the Harbaugh Turns” goes on.
  2. I can see this causing riots. You can mess with tradition. You can even mess with beer. But when you mess with tradition AND beer? You’re just asking for trouble.
  3. WordPress has an interesting little challenge going. There’s two varieties. Post a Day, where you blog on some topic every day. And Post a week, where you blog at least once a week. What do you know? We’ve been doing that on Fridays for a while now. How about that? Don’t hold your breath on the daily updates though. Do you really want to hear from us that often?
  4. Interesting. Who would have figured this one. If the magnetic north pole shifts…. the Tampa Airport is effected. Who knew? Talk about weird science.
  5. The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) is in Vegas this week. So are the Adult Entertainment Expo. And USA Today runs a story on… Hotel rates. Now, it is a pretty interesting read, outlining how much the hotel rates increased for this (Notice i did not say they had “gone up”). I’ll leave all the other jokes alone.

Ok, that’s five thoughts on a snowy Friday and I’m ready to start the weekend and watch some NFL playoff football.

A little break from music videos, going with a TV show intro (Since I’ve been going over some of them lately for a post idea)

Have a great weekend Folks!
-Beer